No Need To Be A Baby

[Coworker] is not a bad guy; he just doesn’t understand kids, people who have kids, or why people with kids can’t, say, drop everything at a moment’s notice and go drinking with him. He actually called me stupid for taking my young children on holiday because “What’s the point? They won’t remember it.” (It was a long weekend and we had great fun.)

We are in the break room. I’m just grabbing my things before I drive over to the nearby supermarket.

Coworker: “Pick me up a [drink], would you, please?”

Me: “Do they sell that at the shop?”

Coworker: “They do at [Other Shop].”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I won’t have time to go to both. I’m nipping home, as well.”

Coworker: “Just go to [Other Shop], then.”

Me: “No can do, I’m afraid. They don’t sell the weaning food they like.”

Coworker: “Just get anything.”

Me: “What, you mean your drink?”

Coworker: “No, the food. Get them anything. They’re only kids; make them eat it.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not how it works.”

Coworker: “Don’t be difficult.”

Me: “I’m not being difficult. You, a grown man, won’t drink a slightly different drink, and now you can go without.”

He actually wouldn’t talk to me for weeks afterward.