No More MTV For You!

, , , , | Related | August 26, 2019

(I grew up with a huge extended family. None of my grandparents had fewer than seven siblings, so one is always running into great uncles, distant cousins, etc., seemingly everywhere. When I am two, I am in a mall with my mom and dad and we run into one of these distant cousins who recently moved from Ireland to the US. I have a very Irish name, have the overly curly brand of Irish hair, the works, and my dad is proud to be able to introduce me to his cousin.)

Dad: “[Cousin]! What a surprise! This is my wife, [Mom].”

Mom: “So nice to meet you!”

Cousin: *smiling down to me* “And who is this?”

Dad: *proudly* “This is our daughter, [My Name]. What do you say, sweetheart?”

(I look up at him with a big smile and brightly say:)

Me: “You’re a jacka**!”

(My mom told me later that she was so mortified that if there had been a hole nearby she would have tossed me in and walked away. They had no idea why I said that, where I had heard it since they never swore around me, and why I thought that was the best greeting for a newly introduced relative. The cousin laughed and took it in stride, but my mom never let me live that down.)

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