No More Miss Cleo For You

| | Right | February 2, 2008

Me: “Thank you for calling guest relations. This is *** speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. One of your hotels stole something from me and I would like you to return that item to me or I will sue you.”

Me: “We will certainly conduct an investigation. What property was it left at?”

Customer: “The [hotel chain name].”

Me: “Ok…what city and state?”

Customer: “The [hotel chain name]!”

Me: “I understand which brand name…can you please tell me the location of the property?”

Customer: “It’s on Bradford.”

Me: “Ok, and what city and state is that in?”

Customer: “By the ocean.”

Me: “Ok….which city and state?”

Customer: “Florida. It’s not my job to tell you where it’s located…”

Me: “Well, as I’m sure you can appreciate, we have over 3,000 properties in the US alone. So I will need you tell me which City in Florida this is located…”

(Customer provides name of city.)

Me: “Ok, great. And this is the [hotel chain name] on Bradford, correct? So what is missing?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “You don’t know?”

Customer: “No. I visited my psychic this week, and she told me that one of the employees at that hotel where I just came from this past weekend, stole something from me. The employee is female with dark hair and her name starts with an ‘M’.”

Me: “Ok…but can you tell me what you’re missing please? That way I can have this documented and the hotel can investigate the situation.”

Customer: “I DON’T KNOW WHAT WAS STOLEN, BUT MY PSYCHIC DOES NOT LIE.”

Me: “Ma’am, I certainly apologize for any inconvenience experienced…but I’m sure you can appreciate that I would need to know what was taken to forward over to the hotel. Have you gone through your items?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And?”

Customer: “I can’t find anything. But your hotel better return my items or I will sue you!”

Me: “I’d love to help you. Please call us back when you have discovered what was missing. Thank you.”

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  • Stephanie Trump

    I hope she does try to sue them. That would be hilarious

  • Trillium

    Apparently, the hotel employee is a surgeon and she stole customer’s brains to sell them on the black market.

  • Dsru Bin

    I highly recommend reading the Black Widowers Club series by Isaac Asimov. The first story (“The Acquisitive Chuckle”) in the first book (Tales of the Black Widowers) is very similar to this story (but written much betterly).

    Spoiler: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Acquisitive_Chuckle