No Means No, Even When You’re Three

My husband and I are teaching our three-year-old about consent and not having to express affection with others if she doesn’t want to. We are visiting my in-laws and my daughter is busy playing. 

Mother-In-Law: “[Daughter], come give me a hug.”

Daughter: “Not right now.”

Mother-In-Law: “Awww, please?”

Daughter: “No, but we can do a high-five!”

Mother-In-Law: *Pouting* “I’ll cry if you don’t give me a hug. You don’t want Grandma to be sad, do you?”

Before my husband or I can say anything: 

Daughter: “That’s okay. You can be sad.”

[Mother-In-Law]’s face was priceless. I had to resist cackling but was pretty proud of our kiddo.

Afterward, we did have a conversation with [Mother-In-Law] about respecting boundaries and not trying to guilt our daughter. She did get on board quickly when we suggested that if she couldn’t agree, visits would stop.