No Longer Babying Him

| Working | May 25, 2017

(In my previous job I was one of the only married people in the office. I worked there from ages 25-28. They had a tendency to hire a lot of fresh-out-of-college kids to save on costs. It was part of my job to train people on a certain program we used for client management. I’m training a new batch of employees, all recent college grads, and there’s one guy in particular who is a little doe-eyed about being out in the adult world. After work he will often ask me or the other few married people questions about our experiences with buying a house, getting married, etc. and I don’t mind talking with him because he seems genuinely interested. But sometimes he doesn’t think before asking certain questions.)

Coworker: *walking out of the office one day* “[My Name], how long have you been married again?”

Me: “Almost three years.”

Coworker: “So I guess kids are next, huh?”

(At first I didn’t reply, because even though we love kids my husband and I have decided not to have children of our own. I don’t mind telling people this, but it can be awkward sometimes.)

Coworker: *oblivious* “I mean, I’m not married yet, but I can’t wait to have kids!”

Me: “That’s nice.”

Coworker: “How many do you want to have?”

Me: *sigh* “None.”

Coworker: *actually stops walking and stares like I’ve just told him I secretly worship at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster* “What?! But… but all women want to have babies!”

Me: *thinking* “And you know this because you’re secretly a woman?” *saying* “No, actually, some women don’t. It doesn’t mean we don’t like children; we just don’t want any of our own. I’d like to change the subject now, [Coworker]. This is a pretty personal topic.”

Coworker: “Aw, come on! You don’t really mean that!”

Me: *getting annoyed* “Yes, I do. Look, I have to go…”

Coworker: “But WHY?”

Me: *whether he is being intentionally rude or not, I’ve had enough* “Because I don’t feel like growing another human being in my uterus!”

Coworker: *stunned, he walks away and doesn’t speak to me outside of work for over a week*

(In hindsight, I know I probably should have been more tactful since we were standing in the office parking lot, but after that he seemed to think a little more before asking personal questions. So, you know, win-win.)

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