Not Making The Cut

(At the ice cream shop where I work, we just hired a new employee who isn’t quite working out. The following happens while closing one night.)

Me: “Hey, [employee’s name], would you be able to fill the sprinkles quick? I’m really busy taking down this machine.”

Employee: “Nope.”

Me: “…Excuse me?”

Employee: “I can’t fill the sprinkles.”

Me: “And… why not?”

Employee: “There isn’t a box open.”

Me: “So… open a new box?”

Employee: “I can’t open another box.”

Me: “Why not?”

Employee: “I don’t know how.”

Me: “You could just rip the tape off the top.”

Employee: “I just got my nails done!”

Me: “Well, then use a box cutter!”

Employee: “What for?”

Me: “To cut… the box.”

Employee: “Oh… where is the box cutter?”

Me: “On the shelf by the hamburger buns.”

Employee: “Where are they?”

Me: “On the counter right by the grill. You can’t miss it.”

Employee: “Oh.” *leaves, comes back two seconds later* “What buns?”

Me: “The. Hamburger. Buns. By the grill.”

Employee: “Buns? What do you need those for?”

Me: “THE BOX CUTTER IS BY THE BUNS.”

Employee: “Oh, right. Wait…what’s a box cutter again? Like, what does it look like?”

Me: “It looks like a small, sharp tool… used to CUT BOXES!”

Employee: “Oh, okay!” *leaves, returns with box cutter* “Now what am I supposed to do with this?”

Me: *facepalm*