Has No License To Help You

Me: *over intercom* “Missing driver’s license for [Female First Name], missing driver’s license for [Female First Name]. Come to the help desk to collect your driver’s license.”

Middle-Aged Female Customer: *a few minutes later* “Hi, I’m here to pick up a driver’s license?”

Me: “Okay. What is your relationship with the license holder? Mother? Aunt? Cousin?”

Middle-Aged Female Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “This license shows a girl of [younger age], and you don’t look like her. So, how do you know her?”

Middle-Aged Female Customer: “Why do you care? Just give me the d*** thing!”

Me: *starting to get suspicious* “Wait a minute. Let me check something with my manager.”

(I pretend to talk with a manager over the phone, while really just stalling for time. Sure enough, the real license holder comes up within a minute. She looks exactly like the picture from the license.)

Me: *hanging up* “Hello, are you [Female First Name]?”

License Holder: “Yes, I’m here to pick up a missing license.”

Middle-Aged Female Customer: “What? You b****! That’s mine!”

License Holder: “Yes, that’s you on the license with multiple piercings, blonde hair, and blue eyes. Completely looks like you.”

(The other customer is brown-haired, with brown eyes.)

Middle-Aged Female Customer: “Argh!”

License Holder: *turns to me* “License, please?”

(Shocker? I was in the same university as her, only two years ahead!)