No Italiano

Me: “I’ll take three squares of lasagna, a large eggplant salad, and that bruschetta.”

Deli Worker: “Three lasagna, large eggplant, bru-shetta.”

Me: “Bruschetta.”

Deli Worker: “Bru-shetta.”

Me: “It’s Italian, not German. ‘C-H’ makes a hard ‘k’ sound.”

Deli Worker: “No, it doesn’t.”

Me: “It does the same thing for ‘g.’ That’s why we pronounce it ‘spaghetti’ instead of ‘spajetti’.”

Deli Worker: “I don’t think it works that way.”

Me: “Aren’t you Italian yourself?”

Deli Worker: “Yes.”

Deli Worker’s Grandmother: *slaps Deli Worker upside the head* “Balordo ragazzo!”