No ID-ea What Just Happened

My manager has worked in his liquor store for so long that he has quick and succinct take-downs for anyone who doesn’t show ID. This guy is trying to buy some beer from him.

Manager: “ID, please.”

Customer: “You don’t need to see my ID! I’m obviously old enough!”

Manager: “An ID would make it very obvious.”

Customer: “I’m bald!”

Manager: “Razors exist.”

Customer: “Look at my tattoo! I served in the military!”

Manager: “You can join the military at seventeen.”

Customer: *Shows photo of family from wallet.* “Look, I have kids!”

Manager: “My mom had me at sixteen. Anyway, your total is [Total].”

Customer: “You’re selling me the beer?”

Manager: “Your ID was above your family photo in the wallet. I’ve been here long enough that I can speed read an ID.” 

The customer looks back at his wallet, his eyes go wide, and he mutters a few curse words. He buys his beer anyway.

I don’t know why people who actually have their IDs on them are like this…