Tyrannical Girlfriends

(I am upset because I have just found a hole in the butt of my favorite pants. I’m being overly dramatic, because I hate shopping. My boyfriend is trying to cheer me up.)

Boyfriend: “It’s okay; you can just buy another pair of pants.”

Me: “But these were the only ones that made my butt look good!”

Boyfriend: “I still think it looks good.”

Me: “No, you don’t! You’re just saying that to cheer me up; you’ll never be attracted to me again! Everything is ruined forever!”

Boyfriend: “And yet… life… finds a way…”

Me: “That doesn’t work in this situation! This isn’t Jurassic Park! There aren’t even any dinosaurs here!”

Boyfriend: “Yet…”