No Food After Midnight, Either

(I’ve come in early to work. I haven’t turned the lights on in my office as I like sitting in the dark in the mornings. This happens when the rest start to arrive.)

Coworker: “[My Name]! Turn your lights on!”

Me: “I can’t. I’m a gremlin.”

Coworker: “Ooh, I hate when that happens!” *leaves*

(One hour later, I overhear the morning meeting for the reps, since it takes place just outside my office door.)

Boss: “So, the important thing today is to remember not to allow any water near [My Name]…”