No Fireworks? Hold My Beer…
It’s July 4th, and the whole family has gathered at our place, since my parents have the biggest house with the biggest yard, my dad loves to BBQ, and we live pretty much in the middle of all of the relatives.
Uncle: “Hey, [My Dad’s Name], I heard you’re not shooting off any fireworks tonight?”
My Dad: “No, the city is putting on a big show at the lake tonight, so we’re all driving there later to go see it. I did say that on the invite.”
Uncle: “But I’ve been drinking, and I want to drink some more. I can’t drive there. I want to stay here.”
My Dad: “Maybe stay here then. Grandma is staying here with her carer and some friends.”
Uncle: “I don’t wanna stay behind with Grandma! I wanna drink and watch some fireworks!”
My Dad: “Then maybe [His Wife] can drive?”
Uncle: “She’s been drinking too!”
My Dad: “Well, our car is full, sorry.”
Uncle: “Can’t we light some fireworks here?”
My Dad: “We don’t have any.”
I am of the age where I have my learner’s permit. My uncle sees me and knows this.
Uncle: “[My Name]! Get in your dad’s car with me and let’s drive to the local store. We can get some fireworks and shoot them off from here tonight.”
Me: “No thanks, [Uncle]. I’d rather stay here and just hang out and watch the fireworks later.”
Uncle: “But I wanna stay here and drink!”
My Dad: “[Uncle], how is it that you’re responsible enough to know that you shouldn’t drink and drive, but not drink and set off fireworks?”
Uncle: “Duh! You can get a DUI for one, but not the other!”
That settled that! No fireworks for uncle!
