No Contacts And Updated Contact

(I wear contacts. A couple of years ago when moving house from near Scotland to southeast England, I made sure to change my details with my opticians. I also called up their central office, because apparently you can’t change your delivery address in-store. Nevertheless, my contacts didn’t arrive when they were supposed to. I ring up customer service.)

Employee #1: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I haven’t received my contact lenses. I moved house recently, but definitely changed my details. My current address is [address].”

Employee #1: “Yes, it looks like we still have your previous address on file. You know, you have to call up and change it specifically.”

Me: “I did. I—”

Employee #1: “—and it’s not the same as just calling up your local opticians! Now, we can’t send you a new set just because you forgot to change your address. You’ll have to go to your old place and pick them up.”

Me: “I can’t. I live at the opposite end of the country. I definitely ch—”

Employee #1: “Well, we can’t send you any more. You have to get them yourself or do without.”

Me: “Listen. I went into a branch to change my address, and they gave me a card to call up and change my contact lens details. If they weren’t the right people to call, then who on Earth do I need to call to change my delivery address?”

Employee #1: “Oh, you called and changed your address? It mustn’t have changed in the system. I’ll send you a new pack out.”

(A couple of years on, I’m moving house again. As soon as I move, I call to change my address. Lo and behold, my contact lenses don’t turn up.)

Me: “Hi. I’m calling because I haven’t received my contacts. I moved house recently, and made sure to call up the contact lens department and change my delivery address with them.”

Employee #2: “Ah, you changed your address? We’ll send you some more out. Sorry about that. Can I take your new address?”

Me: “It’s [address].”

(A few weeks pass. No contact lenses arrive.)

Me: “Hi. I called a couple of weeks ago because my contacts hadn’t arrived. I was told I would be send some more, but I haven’t got them yet. My address should be [address].”

Employee: “Ah. This is embarrassing. The address doesn’t seem to have been changed. Can we run through them all?”

(They had no fewer than five addresses on system for me, not one of them my current address. Finally, a week later, my contacts finally arrived!)