No Claiming Independence From Stupidity
I’m having to work at a tech support call center on July 4th with a skeleton crew. I can overhear my coworker:
Coworker: “No, sir, fireworks shouldn’t impact your wifi.”
Pause.
Coworker: “No, sir, it doesn’t work like that.”
Pause.
Coworker: “Sir, the only way the fireworks will mess with your internet is if you launch them through the router.”
Pause.
Coworker: “Yes, sir, I would say the fireworks hitting the electricity cable and knocking out power to the house would negatively affect the wifi.”
Pause.
Coworker: “Okay, sir, you win, technically the fireworks impacted your wifi, but we’re still not to blame.”
Pause.
Coworker: “Because we didn’t decide to launch an explosive rocket directly at a power cable and hope for the best.”
Pause.
Coworker: “Well, thank you, but my mother is already enjoying her Fourth of July and doesn’t need to enhance with your offered copulation. Since we’ve established that [Company] isn’t to blame for your internet outage, all I can do is wish you a happy Independence Day.” *Click.*
