No Bobs Left Behind On His Watch!
Do you want to hear another story about Peter, the dedicated police employee who thinks differently?
This takes place after a long day working as a courier. Peter walks into the office as usual to read his emails. Remember, to get through to Peter, you really need to speak English. He will reply in English, anyway.
Peter: “Today I take hitchhiker.”
This is strictly forbidden, for all sorts of reasons — not least, security.
Me: “Peter! What, why?”
Peter: “Lost. Needed help.”
Me: “You know you are not allowed to do this!”
Peter: “Exceptions. Name Bob.”
I’m panicking. What if the public finds that we dropped off a confused hitchhiker, and they got hurt?
Me: “I don’t care what his name… Where? “
Peter: “[Tiny Village].”
Me: “Where did you leave them?”
Peter: “Wait. I get Bob.”
What?!
He leaves, grabbing the keys to the van, for some reason. I pick up the phone to report this to senior management. Peter comes back carrying in his arms… a BORDER COLLIE.
Peter: *With a poker face* “Call [Officer who speaks sign language].”
Me: “Peter, is this the hitchhiker?”
Peter: “Call. Now.”
I get the police officer on video chat. She has been known to interpret for Peter if it is complicated. Meanwhile, this happy pooch just loves all the attention.
Officer: “Hi. How can I help?”
Me: “Please find out why he has brought a dog into this police station.”
They begin signing.
Officer: “He saw the dog running along [Remote Road closed in winter]. As you can see, the dog is very well-groomed, so he obviously isn’t a stray. Peter thinks somebody is missing a member of their family. He couldn’t leave the dog with a vet because he can’t explain it in German, so he brought the dog back here.”
A senior police officer walks in.
Senior Officer: *Ignoring the dog* “Peter, are you allowed to pick up hitchhikers?”
Me: “It… it isn’t what it seems. I’ll explain later.”
The senior officer leaves.
Me: “So, lost dog. Has he had any water?”
Officer: “No, he didn’t give him any water.”
Me: “He needs to drink. You drove 250 km without—”
Officer: “Wait… He had a Coke Zero and a burger of some sort… A Big Mac. With bacon.”
Me: “I… Right. Border collie, fast food, and fizzy drink. He said the, err, ‘hitchhiker’ was called Bob?”
Officer: “Yes, that’s right.”
Peter, now giving the dog belly rubs, points to the collar.
Peter: “Look, Bob.”
Officer: “Peter says his cousin, last name Bahn, has a dog called Otto. Wait, why would you call a dog Otto? Oh… Autobahn. Very good.”
Me: “…Thank you for rescuing the dog. I will call a vet to scan the microchip.”
Officer: “The K9 unit might be interested.”
Me: “We can’t take somebody’s family pet as a sniffer dog!”
Officer: “No… they could also scan the microchip quicker than a vet. Take some pictures for our social media, too.”
Me: “You’re an adventure, Peter.”
K9 came in ten minutes, checked the microchip, and identified his owner. It turned out that Bob was a sheepdog. His owner, very relieved, was unavailable that night, so Bob had a leftover steak dinner from the canteen and spent the night in Peter’s apartment. He was collected the next day. Bob is now on Peter’s phone background.
Related:
No Lapses In Security On His Watch!
No Neglected Post On His Watch!
No Accident K’Boom Explode On His Watch!
