No Bar And No Bite

(A customer is trying to return an opened CD. This is against store policy, which is clearly stated on a poster in the store and is printed on every receipt. While discussing this with the customer, I notice a name tag from a local pet store on his shirt.)

Customer: “You have to give me a refund! I’m a lawyer and I know my rights!”

Me: *giggles*

Customer: “What’s so funny? I will sue you and I will sue this whole company! Give me my refund!”

Me: “You’re a lawyer?”

Customer: “Of course! Are you calling me a liar? I’ll sue you!”

Me: “So, do you work at [pet store] between cases or is that just a fashion statement?” *points to the name tag*

Customer: “Uh…well…you see…”

Me: “Isn’t it illegal to impersonate a lawyer?”

Customer: “Never mind!”

(The ‘lawyer’ grabs the CD and walks out of the store with his head hanging.)