No Amount Of Mouthwash Will Wash Away The Lies

When I worked at a toxicology lab, we got a sample from an individual who had been involved in a forklift collision on a worksite. His initial story was that the forklift controls had a mechanical failure that had caused the collision.

Upon testing his sample, we found alcohol present. We reported this to the supervisor, who confronted the forklift driver. He then claimed to have “accidentally” spilled some mouthwash into the same container prior to sealing it, and that was the source of our alcohol result. Putting aside the fact that no readily available mouthwash uses the type of alcohol we tested for, he also didn’t realize that we test for alcohol metabolites, meaning that his body had to actually metabolize the alcohol first before we could detect it. 

After we responded with this fact, he tried to claim that he had accidentally swallowed the mouthwash and THAT was the source of the alcohol.

We did the math. He would have had to chug several full containers of mouthwash to get the metabolite concentration up high enough to match our results, and that would have left him blind (methanol versus ethyl alcohol). Even if it didn’t, it would still have meant that he was impaired.

He finally admitted to being drunk (from beer) on the worksite.