Nip That Complaint Right In The Bud

Our office manager has said that we’re not allowed to have piercings when at work. It’s annoying, but it’s the rules, so whatever.

I am standing in the elevator going up to our floor, and the manager gets in with me. He sees me standing there literally removing my piercings.

Office Manager: “No piercings at work!”

Me: “I am literally removing them in front of you.”

Office Manager: “You should take them off before you get to work!”

Me: “I don’t clock in for another ten minutes. And your email said no piercings in the office. They’ll all be gone by the time we get to our floor.”

He narrows his eyes at me but doesn’t say anything because they truly are all gone by the time the elevator door opens, and his email did actually specify just the office and not the building.

By the end of that same day, an email gets sent to everyone that piercings need to be removed before we enter the building. Whatever, choose your battles. I comply.

Our building has a gym in the basement, which I use four times a week. I am doing a workout wearing a sports top, and you can tell that one of my nipples is pierced if you look closely. My office manager comes down for a workout, spots me, and leaves very quickly. Weird, but whatever.

The next day, I am called into a meeting with Human Resources. The representative tells me I have been reported for a dress code violation.

Me: “Is this about the piercings? Because as you can see, none of mine are visible, and I never wear them inside the building.”

HR Rep: “The complaint was made that you were wearing them inside the building.”

Me: “None of my piercings are visible in the building. Can you tell me where in the building this was reported?”

HR Rep: *Checks the notes* “The corporate gym.”

Me: “Still didn’t have any visible piercings on, and besides, I don’t usually wear them when I work out anyway, inside the building or not. Not unless—” *laughs* “—you’re talking about my nipple piercing, but of course, no one in their right mind would go to HR to try to police an employee’s nipples, now, would they?”

HR Rep: *Suddenly looking nervous* “Uh…”

Me: “Because I can’t even imagine what can of worms that would open up… can you?”

HR Rep: “We’ll… confirm the full nature of the complaint and get back to you.”

I smiled, nodded, and left. I never heard back from them, but the office manager was missing for a whole week to take some “special training” suspiciously suddenly. That was two months ago, and he hasn’t spoken to me since.