Nip-Picking

(A customer brings her dog to the front desk in a panic.)

Customer: “My dog has fleas, so I need you to help me. I have been using the flea medication you gave me, but I can still see flea eggs.”

Me: “Ma’am, you can see flea eggs?”

Customer: “I have been trying to pick them off, but they seem to be stuck.”

Me: “Okay, can you show me the eggs you have been trying to pick off?”

(Customer lifts up the dog to show me the belly.)

Customer: “See! These!”

Me: “Ma’am, those are not flea eggs; they are his nipples.”

Customer: “Nipples? But he’s a male. How does he have nipples? They have to be flea eggs.”

Me: “I assure you, he has no fleas, and the ‘eggs’ you have been trying to pick off are in fact his nipples.”

Customer: “Get the vet. You don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s a male! He can’t have nipples.”

Me: “Ma’am, do human males have nipples?”

Customer: *stares blankly for a moment* “Well, s***!” *walks out*

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