Nintendos Before Hoes

, , , , | Romantic | September 29, 2018

(My friend is over for a night of video games and “bro time” when his girlfriend tries to video chat with him. Because he is playing the game, he doesn’t answer. This does not go over well with her; she calls repeatedly until he picks up. He puts the phone in his lap so he can keep playing.)

Girlfriend: “What the f*** are you doing that you can’t answer your phone?”

Friend: “I’m playing a video game.”

Girlfriend: “Where? Where are you right now? I got home and the apartment was empty!”

Friend: “I’m at [My Name]’s house.”

Girlfriend: “I don’t recall you telling me you were going there. Are there girls there?”

Friend: “Well… I did. And no. Look. I’ll be home later.”

Girlfriend: “No, you need to come home now.”

Friend: “Why?”

Girlfriend: “There’s dishes and laundry to be done, and I haven’t seen you all day. You can’t just run off and play video games whenever you want. You have responsibilities! Are your friends more important than me?”

Friend: “No, I’m just hanging out with some guys. I’ll help clean when I get home tonight.”

Girlfriend: “You know what? Don’t bother coming home!”

(He hangs up and keeps playing the game like nothing happened.)

Me: “Uh, don’t you want to… fix that?”

Friend: “She’s always saying crazy s*** like that. She doesn’t mean it. If I didn’t come home, she’d probably b**** about that, too.”

(They broke up shortly thereafter because she made the same threat and he didn’t come home “on time.” She locked him out of the apartment and threw all his things out the window. He’s crashing on my couch right now. She still calls every now and then, and yes, she’s still crazy.)

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