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Night-Shift Of The Dead

, | Right | April 1, 2015

(I am working the customer-service desk for the night-shift at a 24-hour retailer in a huge supermarket. It is a very quiet shift, with the few customers in the store shopping silently and not needing customer-service. In the early hours of the morning, one of my coworkers who has the day off comes running in, looking filthy, exhausted, and covered in blood.)

Coworker: “What are you still doing here?!”

Me: “What do you mean? My shift isn’t over.”

Coworker: “Dude! The zombie apocalypse has started! Haven’t you seen the news?”

Me: “No, I’ve been right here.”

Coworker: “But the store is overrun with zombies! I took a huge risk coming in here for supplies. You haven’t seen any zombies?!”

Me: “No! Just me and the customers.”

(We both stop to look around the store, and at the customers. Now that I am looking a little closer, the customers are walking around with a slightly exaggerated shuffling gait, a little bit more of a blank look than they usually do, and some seem a little less… fleshy than would normally be expected.)

Me: “Huh, I guess the zombies are the customers.”

Coworker: “You mean you’ve been working here surrounded by zombies all night and you didn’t even notice?!”

Me: “It’s the night shift.”

Coworker: “…Yeah, sounds about right.”

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