Night Of The Entitled Dead

(I work for a complaints department in an insurance company. The caller stopped paying their life insurance premiums and understandably (you’d think), his policy was cancelled. He contacted us a few years later.)

Customer: “But how could you have cancelled the policy? You owe me £3,000!”

Me: “That’s the amount of cover you had on the policy. Because the premiums haven’t been paid, the policy has lapsed and you’re no longer covered. Because it was life insurance, it would only have paid out that amount on your death.”

Customer: “How DARE you tell me I’m not dead! I demand you pay me MY money IMMEDIATELY!”