Nice Knowing You

(We have a regular library patron who always asks for help researching his book, which is on a topic we all think is rather silly. He never says ‘thank you,’ and he treats the female librarians like dirt, but he likes our boss because he is a man and recently had a book published.)

Patron: “Is Mr. [Boss] in today?”

Me: “I’m sorry; he’s on vacation for a few weeks. Is there something I can help you with?”

Patron: “No, I need Mr. [Boss]. I’m almost finished with my book, and I need him to introduce me to his publisher.”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not a service the library provides.”

Patron: “I know that, but I thought he might do it to be nice.”

Me: “I’m afraid you don’t know Mr. [Boss] very well. He’s really not that nice.”

(When my boss got back from vacation and I told him this story, he thanked me profusely for saving him from the patron.)