Ni Hao, No Homo

Customer: “Ni hao!”

Me: “I’m Korean, but hello to you too!”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Ni hao is a Chinese greeting, but I’m not Chinese. I’m Korean.”

Customer: “Huh… whatever.”

I take the customer’s order and move on to the next customer. On its own, it’s not a story worthy of retelling. This story also happens to be taking place during Pride Month, and for the month of June, our store’s fries cartons have been replaced with rainbow versions.

I hand the customer his combo meal.

Customer: “What the f*** is this?! I don’t want any gay fries!”

Me: “It’s just the packaging for Pride Month, sir. They’re still the same fries.”

Customer: “Nah! F*** this! I don’t want my fries turning me gay!”

Me: “They… sir… that’s impossible. It’s just printed card. Here…”

I take his tray back, find a regular red fries carton, and transfer the same “gay fries” into this one and hand it back to him.

Me: “There you go, sir.”

Customer: *Still upset.* “I just want my fries! Why has it gotta be all gay?”

Me: *Looking at the large number of people behind him waiting to collect their food.* “Again, sir, not gay. It’s just how [Fast Food Chain] wants to show its support for the gay community. Anyway, have a nice d—”

Customer: “—There’s no gay community! Being gay isn’t a real thing! It’s just mental illness!”

Me: “Sir, if you could please move aside—”

Customer: “—I just don’t understand all this s***!”

That’s it. Snapped.

Me: “—Sir! As we’ve established, I “don’t understand” Chinese, but I know it’s a real f****** language! You don’t need to understand it, or accept it, you just need to get out of its f****** way, and mine!”

Customer: “D***! Chill! You’re an angry Chinese, ain’t ya?” *Finally leaves with his un-gay’d fries.*