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Not What They Meant By Networking With The Manager

, , , , , | Right | May 11, 2021

I work internal IT for a big retail company. With everything going on lately, we’ve transitioned to mostly work-from-home for all our corporate users.

User: “I have a laptop, but I need to learn a new software, so I got another laptop and I can’t sign in.”

Me: “Is it a [Company] laptop or a personal one? And is this a Windows or a Mac?”

User: “It’s the laptop; I think it’s Windows.”

Me: “How did you get this laptop? Did it come from asset management?”

User: “Um, no. It came from a coworker.”

Me: “Okay, unfortunately, you won’t be able to sign on from home the first time. You’ll need to get it on the network so it can talk to your account. I know some of the corporate offices are closed, so if you can get to one of the stores, that’ll work, too.”

User: “I have my manager’s approval to use this.”

Me: “I understand that, but if the computer isn’t on the network then it can’t grab your account information.”

User: “Would it change if my manager talked to that asset whatever team?”

Me: “Unfortunately, not really. Even if they said this situation was one where they could make the change to allow the first-time login from home, they’d still need to get it on the network in order to update the account.”

User: “Are you sure? My manager said I could use it.”

Me: “I understand that; however, it still needs to talk to the network to verify your account.”

User: “But the coworker who gave this to me should still be able to sign in, right?”

Me: “As long as they know the most recent password that this workstation cached. However, they shouldn’t be sharing their credentials with you.”

User: “Are you sure I have to get it to the store?”

Me: “Yes.”

User: *Sighs* “Fine, thanks. Bye.”

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If Chocolate Can’t Make You Smile You’re Beyond Help

, , , | Right | May 10, 2021

I work at a coffee shop that sells donuts.

One evening, shortly after my manager leaves, a customer comes in and asks for two chocolate dips. My coworker, a young woman who has just started there, chooses one with chocolate and one with white dough. The customer turns bright red and tears open the bag, yanking the one with chocolate dough out and waving it in her face.

Customer: “What is this?! Does this look like a chocolate dip to you?!”

My coworker started tearing up. I stepped in quickly and replaced it with the right type of donut, muttering vague apologies.

My coworker had gone to the back to cry. I said something about the customer being a jerk and told her that she could stay in the back a bit longer.

The next day, when I told our manager, she was furious and declared that if that guy came back, she would give him a piece of her mind.

He did come back, but not when she was there. He was generally miserable but never yelled at anybody else. My coworker, and a few others, started a contest to see who could make him smile. Some weeks later, the contest had been won. It was the coworker he’d made cry who finally did it. It wasn’t as satisfying as kicking him out, but none of us had the self-confidence to do that, and it did make everyone feel better.

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The Pickup Policy Scores A Ten

, , , | Right | May 10, 2021

It is late at night in my diner when the phone rings.

Me: “[Restaurant], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Can I get—” *Starts saying their order*

Me: “I’m sorry, but we can’t take orders over the phone after ten o’clock.”

Caller: “Why the f*** not?!”

Me: “Because too many people have forgotten to pick up their food in the past.”

Caller: “Make an exception for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t. You can talk to the manager in the morning, but I can’t take your order unless you actually come in.”

Caller: “Do it anyway! I’m only ten minutes away!”

Me: “Great! We’ll see you when you get here!” *Click*

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Don’t Become One Of The Enemy

, , , | Right | May 10, 2021

One morning, I’m early to work, so I decide to drop into a post office located inside a large food market to post a letter. As I approach the counter, I can see a lady behind the desk, but the way is blocked by two large signs stating the opening hours. I’m a bit confused, but as the lady notices me, she approaches and takes my letter.

As I’m leaving, it finally registers what the signs say. 

Sign: “Our opening hours are from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm.”

It’s 8:30 am.

I have worked in retail for years and it’s always irritating when people don’t read our signs. Now I know how it happens.

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Does Not Pass With Flying Colors, Part 3

, , | Right | May 10, 2021

We keep our disposable lighters behind the counter, and whenever a customer wants one I make sure to ask if they want any particular colour. Some appreciate it, but mostly people don’t care and will let me pick whatever. And then there’s this guy.

Customer: “I want a lighter.”

Me: “Does the colour matter?”

Customer: “Just grab any.”

I pick the closest one, which happens to be blue.

Customer: “No, not that colour. Gimme a black one.”

Does Not Pass With Flying Colors, Part 2
Does Not Pass With Flying Colors

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