All of our stories, starting with the newest!

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 18

, , , , , | Right | January 18, 2021

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: “Sure.”

I start ringing her items up.

Customer: “No, that’s supposed to be 50% off.”

Me: “All right, no problem! Let me ask someone to double-check that for you.”

I call my coworker over our headsets and ask.

Coworker: “Nope, no discount off of these.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, it doesn’t have a discount on it.”

Customer: “Whatever. I don’t want it, then.”

I continue to ring her items and she asks about several more that are “supposed” to have a discount.

Me: “Sorry, ma’am, my coworker said there’s no discount on most of these.”

Customer: “Let me speak to your manager, then.”

I call the manager over.

Manager: “What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “Your employee isn’t giving me the discount on these items!”

Manager: “All right, let me check this for you.”

He checks for any sale prices on any of the items and comes up with nothing.

Customer: “Ugh! You people are so selfish with your discounts!”

She then stormed off without any of the items, leaving my manager and me there wondering what had just happened.

Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 17
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 16
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 15
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 14
Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount, Part 13

1 Thumbs

We Think We May Actually Be Speechless

, , , , | Healthy | January 18, 2021

I’m having my first eye test in a few years and the doctor gives me the colorblind test to flip through. I surprisingly stumble on a few of them, and my wife comments that she’s noticed I tend to confuse certain colors.

Doctor: “You’re not fully colorblind, but you do have something there. Probably a muted form inherited from your father. Does he have trouble with colors?”

Me: “Not that I know of, but he doesn’t really—”

Doctor: *Interrupting me* “Oh, then he’s not your father because you’re definitely a little colorblind. Women have to inherit the gene from both parents. I wonder who your real father is.”

Me: “Did you really just say that to me?”

It turned out that I have tritanomaly, which can come from a blow to the head — and I was bucked off a few horses in my life — OR can be inherited if both your parents at least carry the gene as it’s a mutation. So, it turns out that it IS possible for a non-colorblind man to father a colorblind(ish) daughter!

1 Thumbs

Unless She’s Looking For The Worst Makeup Ever

, , , | Right | January 18, 2021

A woman looks around for a few minutes and comes up to the register. We are a department store that sells mostly clothing and cosmetics; we are not a grocery store or a supermarket and it is very obvious we don’t sell grocery items.

Customer: “Where is your cat food?” 

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have cat food. [Major Retailer] down the road has cat food and I think [Pharmacy Chain] across the street does, too.”

Customer: “I don’t want to go to [Major Retailer]. I came here for a reason. What department is your cat food in?” 

Me: “There isn’t any cat food in this store, ma’am. This is [Store]. We don’t sell that kind of thing.” 

Customer: “Okay. Thanks, I guess.”

She then goes on to write a bad review to our store manager about how the cashier wouldn’t tell her where the cat food was and how we should have a better selection of pet items. 

My manager laughs at it the next day in our usual morning meeting.

Manager: “You can’t fix stupid.”

1 Thumbs

Calling Their Bluff Is Worth The Hassle

, , , | Right | January 18, 2021

I work in a very cheap budget hotel. A guest has booked a twin room — two single beds. I am supposed to close the counter at twelve but I have to wait for the guest until two am. After she has checked in, she comes back down.

Guest: “Excuse me, I requested a large bed. Why did you give me a twin bed? And why is the room so small?”

Me: “You booked a twin room, miss, so we gave you what you booked.”

Guest: “I want a large bed. Give me a room with a large bed.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are fully booked tonight so I can’t move you to another room.”

Guest: “Then what are all the empty rooms here?”

She points at our monitor.

Me: “Oh, these rooms cannot be used at the moment. The aircon is leaking in one and this one doesn’t have a TV. Also, the rate would be different.”

Guest: “Just give me that. I will pay. I have money.”

The next day:

Guest: “Why is the aircon leaking? I paid for a hotel room, not a sauna!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, miss, but my colleague already mentioned that to you last night, and you still insisted on that room.”

Guest: “I can get a much better room at another place! You’re just trying to deceive me. I will report you to the police!”

Manager: “Go ahead, miss. Call the police. Also, if you think the other place is better, then I can give you a full refund right now in cash and you can go find another place.”

She got the refund but ended up returning to our hotel because the other hotel was expensive!

1 Thumbs

Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 5

, , , | Right | January 18, 2021

I work as a bartender at a place that is known for buffalo wings. Often when we are slow, they put the bartender in charge of takeout to let the cashier go home. Our computer system requires that we input a phone number and name for all to-go orders before getting to the order screen. Also, we have over twenty different sauces and dry rubs available for our wings. This conversation happens about once a week for a good couple of months.

Me: “[Restaurant], [Location], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’ll take ten buffalo.”

Me: “Are you looking to place a to-go order?”

Caller: “Yeah.”

Me: “Can I start off with a good phone number?”

They mumble through the number.

Me: “Okay, and what name can I put with this order?”

They give their name.

Me: “All right, what can I get for you today?”

Caller: “Ten buffalo.”

Me: “Are you looking for our traditional or boneless wings today?”

Caller: “Traditional.”

Me: “All right, and what size would you like? We have four different sizes, and the counts for the wings are about five, ten, fifteen, twenty.”

Caller: “Ten.”

Me: “Okay, and you said you wanted them in buffalo? Buffalo is our dry rub; are you looking for our dry rub today or one of our wet sauces?”

Caller: “Wet.”

Me: “We have four different buffalo-flavored wet sauces: Mild, Medium, Hot, and Wild. Which one would you like?”

Caller: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “They all taste like buffalo; the only difference is the heat level.”

Caller: “Medium.”

Me: “All right, and did you want any ranch, blue cheese, celery, or carrots today?”

Caller: “Ranch.”

Me: “All righty, can I get you anything else today?”

Caller: “Yeah, ten BBQ.”

I facepalmed, knowing that I’d have to start the process over again at traditional or boneless wings and that we have four different BBQ sauces.

Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 4
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 3
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem, Part 2
Getting To The Sauce Of The Problem

1 Thumbs