I’m holding my toddler in one arm, trying to order food from the self-service kiosk. Another customer is taking forever on the other kiosk and blocking the open one with her cart.

Daughter: *Excited.* “Daddy, daddy! I want pizza!”

Me: “Sorry, baby, we have to wait to buy it first.”

Another customer comes up.

Other Customer: “Hey, are you going to order next?”

Me: “Yeah, just trying to get up to the screen.”

Other Customer: “Blocked, isn’t it?”

Me: “I tried asking and moving the cart, and she pulled it right back.”

Other Customer: “Oh, really, I can be a b**** right back!”

She pulls the cart away and gestures for me to go to the screen.

Daughter: “Yay, Daddy, buy me pizza!”

The old woman looks shocked, but rushes to finish. And her cart was only a foot further back. 

Thanks, lady, wherever you are.

I work in a restaurant in a rather touristy area. To avoid awkward situations, we have signs stating the expected customs. One of these is that tipping is neither expected nor wanted.

A patron walks up to the bar to settle their bill and is just staring at the sign, and then flags me down.

Customer: “You don’t want tips?”

Me: “No, we don’t.”

Customer: “But why not?”

Me: “In our culture, it’s seen as insulting, and we don’t expect tourists to tip us either.”

Customer: “Insulting? Why would it be insulting?”

Me: “Well, firstly, it implies that you think that the owner is cheap and isn’t paying the workers sufficiently, so it insults the owner. And secondly, it implies that you think the workers are poor and would need your loose change, so you’d insult the worker too.”

Customer: “But you’re a server, of course you are poor!”

I settled their bill in silence, and they had the audacity to wonder why I acted like they had insulted me.

Many moons ago, I was a recent college grad, and my first job was working the front desk at the Admissions Office at a local university. I could likely write a book about the various characters with whom I came across, but this was the one call that actually had me looking around, wondering if I was on Candid Camera.

Me: *Answering the phone.* “Undergrad Admissions.”

Caller: “Yes, I was wondering if you could tell me how to go about applying for school at [Local Community College]?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. You’ve contacted the wrong business. This is [University].”

Caller: “Oh, I know. But no one is answering over there, and I thought you could tell me all about it.”

Me: “…?”

A few years ago, my wife fell and broke her arm. It was serious enough to require surgery, so we made an appointment with the trauma surgeon. On the day of the appointment, with my wife’s arm all bandaged and in a sling, we make our way to the doctor’s office. We were getting off the elevator with one other person, and she decided we weren’t moving fast enough. The woman basically pushed past us to get in line at the front desk, in front of us. It is about 2:15 in the afternoon. Our appointment was at 2:30.

Impatient Woman: “My name is Mrs. [Impatient Woman], and I have a 3:00 appointment with [Same doctor we are seeing], but I have other appointments today, so I need to see the doctor immediately!”

Young Nurse: “Well, we can check you in; however, the doctor’s schedule is full today, and, as of now, he is running about thirty minutes behind. So, you can either wait or reschedule.”

Impatient Woman: “This is ridiculous that I should have to wait that long.”

Young Nurse: *Very politely.* “I’m sorry, ma’am, we can reschedule if you’d like.”

Impatient Woman: “I’ll wait, but you have no idea how much of an inconvenience this is!”

She huffs away and finds a seat.

My wife and I check in without any problems and sit down. The waiting room is almost full, and the only seats next to each other are right next to the check-in desk. About twenty minutes later, [Impatient Woman] approaches the desk again, and I can hear everything.

Impatient Woman: *Rudely.* “Exactly what time is the doctor going to see me? I have other appointments today. I have been waiting over an hour!”

A more seasoned nurse steps up to the desk.

Seasoned Nurse: “What was your name?”

Impatient Woman: “Mrs. [Impatient Woman]!”

[Seasoned Nurse] does a little typing.

Seasoned Nurse: “Ma’am, I see you checked in at 2:16, so you have been waiting about twenty minutes. [Young Nurse] explained to you that we are fully booked today; we are behind schedule, and offered to reschedule. You can reschedule or wait. Those are your options.”

Impatient Woman: “When is your next opening?”

Seasoned Nurse: “[Date two weeks from today].”

Impatient Woman: “WHAT?!? I made this appointment over a month ago!”

[Seasoned Nurse] does a little more typing.

Seasoned Nurse: “Ma’am, I show you made this appointment on [date], which was six days ago, so, again, you can wait or reschedule.”

I am trying not to stare, although other patients are, but I can see her getting more and more frustrated that she isn’t getting her way.

Impatient Woman: “Fine, I’ll wait!” She goes and sits back in her chair, crosses her arms and legs, and is muttering something to herself.”

About 3:00, my wife and I get called in (ahead of [Impatient Woman]). I am helping my wife up to make sure she is comfortable; we start to make our way to the door. I can see [Impatient Woman] staring daggers at us. She storms back up to the check-in desk.

Impatient Woman: “I am very upset! I checked in before them (pointing at us), and they get to go in first?!?”

Seasoned Nurse: *Very calmly.* “Their appointment was before yours, so yes, they will go in before you, that’s how this system works.”

[Impatient Woman] was arguing some more, but I didn’t hear her because we made it to the doctor’s office. After we saw the doctor, we had to schedule a follow-up appointment, which meant going back to the check-in desk in the waiting area. [Impatient Woman] was gone, so I don’t know if she gave up or finally made it in. I made sure to thank both nurses and compliment them on their patience. I’m sure it’s just another day in the office for them!

Related:
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 24
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 23
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 22
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 21
Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 20

I’m a personal chef, and on the side, I make cheese/charcuterie/crudité boards. A former client asked me to make a fruit board for after dinner at a small event she was having. I double checked to make sure she wanted JUST fruit, as that’s not on my menu, but other styles I have do contain fruit.

She confirmed, just fruit.

I didn’t want this to look like some resort breakfast buffet fruit platter, so I wound up going to six different stores, sourcing the best I could find from each. In the end, there were mangosteen, pineapple, clementines, red and white strawberries, issai kiwi, mango, figs, blueberries, dried orange segments, and some garnish flowers. I was happy with how it turned out, especially with finding perfectly ripe fruit in each variety.

I packaged it up and immediately drove it the half hour to her house, unscathed. I delivered it to the housekeeper and said it needed to be refrigerated.

About three hours later, I got an email from the client asking what happened. It looked like it had been sitting out for a day; the fruit looked old. She’s confused because my other work was so good, but she doesn’t think she can serve this to guests.

Attached was a picture of a turkey fig looking like a perfectly ripe turkey fig and a pineapple spear looking like a perfectly ripe pineapple spear.

She asked me to call, but by the time I saw the email, her event had started. I texted her explaining that I’d bought all of the fruit the day before, so it’s very fresh and perfectly ripe. If the housekeeper did, in fact, refrigerate it, all of it was only unrefrigerated for maybe 2 hours between my beginning to cut the fruit and delivering it to her door.

No response.

Followed up with an email this morning.

No response.

I’m hoping she tucked tail, realized I know what I’m talking about, and served it, but I suspect this means all that gorgeous fruit went in the trash and she’s ghosted. Thankfully, I take payment up front for this work, but the waste pisses me off after I spent half a day sourcing.