All of our stories, starting with the newest!

Getting Nowhere At This Rates

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2021

I work in a call center, taking customer service calls for a fairly popular online bank. A woman calls in asking about our interest rates. Great! I start quoting her some of what we offer.

Customer: “God, this is so confusing! I don’t get you people’s rates. This makes no sense!”

Me: “Well, I apologize for any confusion you may be experiencing, but I would be more than happy to clarify. May I ask what aspect of this is confusing you?”

Customer: “No, you most certainly cannot! What you can do is get me your manager!”

Any time a customer asks for a manager, company policy requires that we try to de-escalate the call at least once.

Me: “Well, I really would like to help you, ma’am—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “Bulls***! Get me your manager, now.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Is it all right if I put you on hold while I get a hold of them for you?”

Customer: “Yes, fine, whatever! I can’t f****** believe this.”

I put the customer on hold, get my manager, and explain to her everything that has happened so far. She then takes over the call. Another note: the way we do that, I can now only hear my manager’s end of the call; I cannot hear the customer.

Manager: “Hi, Ms. [Customer]. My name is [Manager]. I was told you wished to speak with me?”

There’s a pause while the customer speaks.

Manager: “Well, I’m very sorry to hear that you’ve had this exper—”

Presumably, the customer cuts her off here.

Manager: “You know what? Let me look into this for you and see what might be going on. Is it all right if I put you on ho—”

Again, she is presumably interrupted.

Manager: “I understand, ma’am, and I do sincerely apolo— Aaaand she hung up.”

The manager turns to me.

Manager: “She was claiming you called her an idiot, but I know you, and there is no way that is even remotely true.”

We ended up reporting the customer to corporate, who listened to the recording and decided they didn’t want this woman anywhere near our bank. She was subsequently barred from doing business with us.

1 Thumbs

10 Crazy Stories About Customers Who Expected Staff To Be Mind-Readers

| Right | January 18, 2021

Dear readers,

It seems like some customers expect you to know what they want before they want it. And while that might be the main job of advertisers, that isn’t what the poor minimum-wage clerk is equipped to do. We’ve received so many stories about customers expecting these poor souls to be mind-readers (and the flack they get when it turns out that they’re not!) that we’ve decided to dedicate a roundup to them.

Below are ten stories about entitled customers who were expecting the staff to be telepathic!


You Be Telepathic So I Can Be Lazy – To be fair, I was well into adulthood before I realized door sizes weren’t standardized. (That was a weird rental.)

(Telepathic) Help Wanted – You couldn’t even tell us, “It has a blue cover”?!

Taking A Gamble – I mean… it kind of worked?


The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 19

, , , | Right | January 18, 2021

I’m at work and two older couples come in and sit in my section. I approach and everything is normal.

Customer: “I have a gift card. Do you need that now or what?”

Me: “No, that’s all right. I can take it later when I bring the bill. No worries.”

Everything proceeds as usual; the food is correct and comes out in a timely manner. No complaints to be had. Everyone is in a good mood.

The time comes to drop off the bill and he hands me the gift card. It’s addressed to him and is unopened. I go to run it, and while it is clearly from our company and says on the inside packaging that there should be $100 on it, it keeps getting declined with an error message telling me there are no funds to be used. I run the card three times and I type in the card number, but no luck. I head back to the table.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I’ve tried everything I can, and I keep getting the message there aren’t any funds on the card.”

Customer: “Then you people stole money from my granddaughter. She bought it at another store as a gift, and then she sent it to me.”

My initial thought is that perhaps whoever purchased the card for him had an issue with their bank or payment originally and they were never charged so the card was never truly activated. Or perhaps the card was purchased at a corporate location and for some strange reason won’t work at the franchise location where I work.

Me: “Well, I’m sorry about that. I can grab the manager and see if there’s anything he can do that I wasn’t able to figure out.”

I go tell the manager the same thing; he tries the same things but to no avail. He tells me he’ll go talk to them. A couple of minutes later, I see him at the customers’ table, and when he walks away, I ask what they said.

Manager: “Oh, they said, ‘F*** you, f*** you, f*** you.'”

Me: “What?!”

Manager: “Yeah, the guy was super pissed and yelled at me because we wouldn’t honor the card, but I told him we would be losing that money by comping everything. We would need to keep the card so he couldn’t pull the same stunt again, but I didn’t tell him that part. And since the card was worth more than the total bill, what was I going to do, give him the last $30 back in cash or on a different gift card?”

Me: “Yeah, that makes sense. So, I guess I still need to go over there and give them the bill. Not looking forward to this.”

Manager: “No, I already got their actual card, ran it, and gave it back to them, so they should be all set now.”

I was so relieved, and they got up a minute later to leave and I was glad to be busy enough not to have to go back over there and talk to them again. Sir, I hope you do call corporate and get that figured out, because I wouldn’t want that to happen to someone else. I also don’t ever want to be on the employee end of that again, getting yelled at for something way out of my hands.

The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 18
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 17
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 16
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 15
The Gift Card That Keeps On Giving, Part 14

1 Thumbs

Your Trousers, Maybe

, , , , , | Related | January 18, 2021

I am looking at my four-year-old, and I notice he is getting skinnier.

Me: “Are you getting taller?”

He looks down at his body and shrugs his shoulders.

Me: “You’re definitely getting skinnier!”

He looks at me, very concerned.

Son: “I hope that doesn’t mean my skin will fall off.”

Not Always Bright

, , , , | Friendly | January 18, 2021

A coworker accidentally locks her keys inside her car while at a gas station. Luckily, she has her cell phone to call for help, but while she’s waiting for help to arrive, someone approaches her.

Stranger: “Could you please move your car out of the way so I can get gas?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but I’ve locked my keys inside—”

Stranger: “Okay, but can you still move your car so I can use the pump?”

1 Thumbs