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It Sounds Like They’ve Had One Too Many Already

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2021

It’s another busy day at the grocery store, with lots of people in and out getting their shopping done for the week. I’m checking people out at a regular pace, but we’re still encouraged to answer the phone when we can, so when the phone rings between customers, I pick it up.

Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Um, yeah, hi. So, I bought some champagne, but I don’t think it made it into my bag. It wasn’t there when I got home.”

This happens occasionally; if it’s busy, maybe an item gets set aside and doesn’t get bagged, or a customer leaves a bag of groceries on the bagging counter, etc. If it does, we make a note in a left-behind log in case someone comes back looking for it.

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry to hear that! I can definitely get someone to check for a bottle if it was recent, or we can check our log and see if it was turned in. Just to narrow it down, what brand of champagne was it?”

Caller: “Um… I don’t know. I wasn’t really paying attention.”

I pause for a moment. That’s a little weird, but maybe she was with someone else getting it.

Me: “Oh, do you not have your receipt on hand?”

Caller: “Huh? Oh, uh… I just didn’t really pay attention. I just grabbed it. I know it had a black label.”

All righty, then.

Me: “Just give me a moment to check for just a bottle of champagne, then, and I can let you know if anyone turned one in—”

Caller: “Hey, uh, you know what? I don’t think it’s even on the receipt.”

Me: “It’s… not?”

Caller: “Yeah, I don’t think it was even rung up.”

Me: “Uh… okay, and to make sure, you’re calling because you think you left a bottle behind, right?”

Caller: “I think… I think the person behind me bought it. I think it ended up with their groceries, and they’re the one who paid for it.”

Well, then. That’s a little different. I’m already spending a little longer on this phone call than expected, but I at least have to clarify what exactly they want here before I can find a chance to hang up, so I try one more time.

Me: “Well, if you want, I can check to see if anyone’s… made a complaint or a return, but if you didn’t actually pay for a bottle, and you don’t have one with your groceries…”

Caller: “Can I not get my bottle of champagne?”

Me: “I think now all I can suggest is that you come back and pick out another one for yourself.”

Caller: “I probably didn’t need to call you about this, did I?”

Me: “Well—”

Caller: “I don’t think you can help me.”

They hung up.

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When It’s Just Not App-ening

, , , | Right | July 30, 2021

I work IT for a retail company.

Caller: “When I download the app, it says I need to trust it.”

Me: “Yes, when you first download it, you have to trust it to be able to sign in. This is a [Company]-specific app, so technically, the developer is untrusted.”

Caller: “So, what do I do?”

Me: “On your phone, go to Settings, General, [Company], [Company Certificate], and then when you click on that, it’ll give you an option to trust it.”

Caller: “My phone is saying not to trust it, so what do I do?”

Me: “You have to trust it.”

Caller: “But my phone says not to. Do I have to trust it?”

Me: “If you want to be able to use the app.”

Caller: “Well, my phone says not to.”

Me: “Yes, it might, because the app was developed [Company]-side, so technically, it’s not trusted because it’s not a known developer. It’s a safe app; you just have to tell your phone that, which is why you have to trust it.”

Caller: “But my phone says not to.”

Me: *Head-desk* “I understand that, but in order to use the app, you have to trust it.”

Caller: “Well, are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

Caller: “Okay, I trusted it. Now it’s not going to delete stuff, is it?”

Me: “Um… well, not unless you tell it to?”

Caller: “No, I have storage on my phone like pictures and stuff, and this isn’t going to take that space, is it?”

Me: “Well, it’s going to take some space because it’s an app that needs to store data, but it’s not going to delete things.”

Caller: “So, it won’t delete my pictures?”

Me: “If the phone runs into storage issues, it should let you know and request that you move or delete things. But the app will not randomly start deleting your pictures.”

Caller: “Are you sure? And since I trusted it, it’s not going to steal my contacts, is it?”

Me: “Um, no.”

Caller: “I’m sorry to keep asking, but it’s just that fifteen years ago, someone hacked payroll and got all our information and I’m nervous about them getting stuff from my phone.” 

I am thinking, “Well, this isn’t fifteen years ago, and this has nothing to do with payroll, and how does that equate to deleting your pictures?”

Me: “No, this won’t steal your information.”

Caller: “Are you sure I have to trust it? And is it going to take up storage space?”

Me: “If you want to use the app, you need to keep it trusted. There will be some storage space used, yes.”

Caller: “Well, I pay for storage each month, so what happens if I go over with this?”

Me: “You might have to pay for extra space at that point, then, which you might be able to get reimbursed, but that’s something you’d have to clear with your manager. Or you can talk to your manager to see if you can get a [Company] iPad or cell phone.”

Caller: “I can get a company-owned device? I didn’t know that was an option!”

Me: “Well, it has to go through your manager and there has to be a valid business use case for it, but you’d have to talk to them.”

Caller: “I didn’t know we had company phones.”

Me: “They’re not handed out to everyone and it is still on a case-by-case basis that has to go through your manager.”

Caller: “So, I have to talk to my manager?”

Me: “If you want to see about getting a company phone. You do have the app installed on your current phone so you’ll be able to use it.”

Caller: “It won’t delete my info, will it?”

Me: “No.”

User: “Well, I guess I’ll go check in with my manager. Have a good night!”

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They Want To Do Everything Except Understand The Problem

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2021

I’m currently running merchandise to the floor after my stock team has processed it off the truck. We process items in a certain order: clothes and smaller home decor items, then large home items (ottomans, furniture, art, etc.) and pillows, comforters last. I’m stocking the bathroom aisle when a customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Do you have any bed pillows or decorative pillows coming out?”

Me: “They will be out later this morning since we process those items last.”

Customer: “I need y’all to process them faster so I can buy some.”

Me: “They are going as fast as they can. It’s only 9:00 am and our truck arrived at 8:15.”

Customer: “Well, it seems they have some lazy workers. I would be able to get that stuff out faster.”

Me: “All right, I’ll go get you a job application from the office and you can apply; we would appreciate the help.”

Customer: “What? No, I wasn’t offering to work here. I’m just asking for y’all to get the stuff out faster because I am an early shopper.”

Me: “Oh, okay. Well, like I said, we have to process everything before we can put it out, which may take some time. So, usually around 12:00 pm to 2:00 pm, everything should be out.”

Customer: “I AM AN EARLY SHOPPER!”

Me: “Oh, well, in that case, we have most things from yesterday’s shipment out unless they have been bought. But like I said, we have to process everything before it can come out.”

The customer starts looking angry as I bid her “good day” and walk back to my stockroom.

Customer: “MANAGER, NOW!”

Pushing my cart through the stockroom door loudly to act like I didn’t hear her, I turn and say:

Me: “Have a great day!”

I stayed in the stockroom until she was gone.

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That Was Awfully Cheeky

, , , , , , , | Working | July 30, 2021

I pick up the phone to call a client and hit myself on the cheekbone.

Me: “I just hit myself in the face with the phone.”

Coworker: “That’s what you get for pushing its buttons!”

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The Gift That Keeps On Building

, , , , | Right | July 30, 2021

I take my daughter to one of the shops where you stuff a bear and buy clothes for it. We are looking at the options when a man pushes past us, luckily missing my daughter. I ignore him and continue helping her pick the empty bear. We stand in line and wait for the stuffing machine when I notice something odd. The man from earlier is stood in the line without a child.

The line moves along slowly. The woman on the stuffing machine eyes the man carefully and goes into her routine about the special hearts, etc., and asks if he wants to help push the button, as she would with the children.

He declines and awkwardly stands there as she goes onto her spiel about the “birth certificate.” This whole process takes a while and the man gets more agitated as it happens.

Store Associate: “Would you like to make a wish?”

Man: “Look. It’s a gift, okay? I just want this done.”

Store Associate: “Not a problem. Your bear is all done. In future, you can pick from any one of the premade bears if you like.”

Right next to the empty ones were premade bears of every type. Perhaps if he wasn’t in such a rush he would have noticed them!

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