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You Did Your Part

, , , | Right | October 19, 2021

This comes at the tail end of taking an order over the phone.

Caller: “Oh, crap, I need to look up one thing that I forgot to write down your number for. One second.”

Me: “Sure. Do you have a description? I might be able to find it faster.”

Caller: *Curtly* “I know what I’m doing.”

Having done my part and offered to help find it, I dork around online during at least three minutes of silence while I listen to him typing.

Caller: “Well, shoot, maybe you just don’t sell it. I can’t seem to find it.”

Me: “What description do you have?”

Caller: “It’s a [specific item].”

Me: “That’s [specific item] that has [side detail]?”

Caller: “Yeah. Should be a basic thing.”

Me: *Less than five seconds later* “That’s our [part number], and it’s [price].”

Caller: *Sheepishly* “I guess I should’ve told you that five minutes ago.”

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Ignore The Signs And It’ll Bite You In The Butt

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: H_S_P | October 19, 2021

I work for a company that does commercial cleaning jobs, mostly restrooms, in businesses around the area. I have a big machine I use to pressure wash bathrooms that has a cleaning chemical in the water. I put up plenty of signs while I clean that say the bathrooms are closed for cleaning. The ones I have hang at eye-level in the door frames and you have to physically duck to get under them.

I frequently get people who come up and look at the signs and ask if they can use the restrooms. I always politely say no because they’re closed for cleaning, and I have a cleaning chemical on all of the fixtures. They usually are fine with that and either wait or go to a different restroom.

I clean both the men’s and women’s at the same time when I do these, so sometimes, I’ll be inside of one of the restrooms and not see someone sneak into the other one to use it. This means I have to sit there and wait for them to finish before I can finish cleaning that restroom. If they’re fast, I might just give them a look, but if they cost me a lot of time, I’ll tell them that I hope they don’t get a rash.

They usually get confused, so I explain that the chemicals I spray on the fixtures are harmful to the skin and that’s why I have to close the restrooms while I work. I usually put on a worried, sympathetic face and tell them that they may want to go take a shower as quickly as possible; otherwise, it might get really uncomfortable to sit down for the next few weeks. This usually freaks them out a bit and they rush away.

Our chemicals are actually pretty harmless, so long as it’s not straight from the jug of undiluted stuff. If I’ve sprayed it through the machine, it’s been heavily diluted so it won’t ever cause a problem, but that fear feels really good to see on someone who thought the rules didn’t matter to them.

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A Jandal Vandal

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2021

What Americans call “flip-flops,” we Australians call “thongs,” and New Zealanders call “jandals.” At the time of this story, I have never heard the word “jandal” before and have no idea what it means.

Customer: “Hi, do you sell jandals?”

Me: *Thinking I may have misheard* “I’m sorry, do we sell what?”

Customer: “Jandals.”

Me: “I’m really sorry, I have no idea what that is.”

Customer: *Getting angry* “Jandals! JAN-DALS! For your feet?”

I’m really confused, and now I’m getting nervous as she is raising her voice.

Me: “Um, are they like socks or something?”

Customer: “Ugh! I can’t believe you don’t know what jandals are! You know, like—” *slowly and loudly* “—FLIP. FLOPS!”

Me: “Oh! Flip-flops! As in thongs? Yes, we have those!”

I start to walk her over to the aisle, but she continues ranting.

Customer: “No, not thongs, jandals. Thongs go up your butt. Jandals go on your feet. Back in my country, they’re called jandals. If you said the word ‘thong’ to anyone, they would laugh at you!”

Me: “But… we’re not in your country. We’re in Australia.”

She glared at me but had no response and stormed off. I have no issue with people of different cultures having different names for items, but don’t tell me I’m wrong when you’re in my country.

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A Suite Surprise!

, , , | Right | October 18, 2021

My roommate and I are bridesmaids in a friend’s wedding, which is being held in a fairly fancy hotel in our home state. We made our reservation almost a year before the wedding for a two-queen room. We check in and make our way up and then open the door to see a huge room with one king bed. This wouldn’t be an issue for just the two of us, but my boyfriend will be joining us the next night, and three would be a crowd in a king!

We don’t want to spend any longer than necessary in a room we won’t be staying in, so we don’t go beyond the doorway before dragging all of our bags back down to the main desk, where this conversation occurs.

Me: “Hi, I’m so sorry, but it looks like we have a single king and we need two queens.”

Front Desk Worker: “What was the room number?”

Me: “[Room number].”

Front Desk Worker: “Did you go into the second room to the left?”

Me & My Roommate: “The… what now?”

Cue me apologizing profusely for being “that customer” as we turned around and lugged everything back up to the room. In our defence, we certainly hadn’t booked a suite and didn’t expect to have two king beds! The main room was huge, so we had no reason to think there was a second room. The wedding was phenomenal, and my boyfriend and I greatly enjoyed having a separate room with a door!

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One Card Exits You From The Matrix

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2021

For the fourth Saturday in a row, I am the only cashier on duty and I have a ridiculously long line. We are badly understaffed in the first place, and we had both a call-out and a no-call, no-show. I’m doing the best I can. 

A group of people comes to my register with three large items, so I expect it to be a fairly simple transaction. It is, until one of the men holds up two credit cards. One is red and one is blue.

Customer: “Pick one.”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “One is mine; one is hers.”

He nods to the woman who I presume is his wife.

Customer: “Pick the one I pay with.”

Me: “Sir… I literally don’t care.”

Customer: “Pick one!”

I glance at the line, hoping he’ll take a hint, but he’s insisting I select the card he uses. In the interest of getting him out of my life, I pick the red card.

Customer: “D***! That one’s mine!”

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Next Saturday, I’m considering calling in sick.

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