Why “Catch-22” Needs To Be Required Reading
Customer: “I bought a computer from you guys not three weeks ago, and my Internet isn’t working.”
Me: “Well, the computer itself seems to be operating perfectly.”
Customer: “It is not working perfectly. I cannot get on the Internet. ”
Me: “I understand that; I just mean while the Internet itself isn’t working, your computer is functioning properly.”
Customer: “My computer is worthless without Internet.”
(Company policy is to direct her to her ISP for further assistance. So I try to get that info from her so I can give her a proper phone number.)
Customer: “Why don’t you just fix it?”
Me: “I’ve run out of things we can try.”
Customer: “What is the ISP going to do?”
Me: “They’ll walk you through a few things, or at least tell you if there is an outage or other problem in your area.”
Customer: “I bought this computer from you, and you should be the ones fixing it.”
Me: “It’s not the computer; it’s the Internet. Unfortunately, we’re not your Internet provider. There’s really nothing more I can do for you.”
Customer: “How much do you charge for Internet?”
Me: “We do not sell Internet.”
Customer: “Then who do I buy my Internet from?”
Me: “I don’t know. [Large Company], perhaps?”
Customer: “I suppose I should order some Internet.”
Me: “You haven’t even signed up for it yet?!”
Customer: “I wanted to do it on the Internet.”
Me: *head explodes*
