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(I work for a propane company, and I had the following customer call in one day.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “Your d*** tank is hissing at me!”
Me: “Well, that sounds like a gas leak, sir. How large is the leak, and can you see where it’s coming from?”
Customer: “It’s coming from the d*** hole in the tank where I shot it!”
Me: “…you shot the propane tank?”
Customer: “How else was I suppose to get the gas out?”
(This is when Blu-rays and HD are a new technology.)
Customer: “What is this Blu-ray thing? Are they like movies?”
Me: “Well, ma’am, they are like DVDs, but with better graphics and sound. Let me show you this packet we have that explains it.”
(I show her the packet.)
Customer: “Okay, well, do you have any movies that are 3-D?”
Me: “We have The Polar Express and the Hannah Montana concert, but those are not going to be near the quality that you see in the theaters.”
Customer: “Oh. What about holograms? Do you have any movies on holograms?”
Me: “What? No, those don’t really exist, ma’am…”
Customer: “Oh. I’ll just come back later and check then.”
This story is part of the Movies & TV roundup!
Read the next Movies & TV roundup story!
Read the Movies & TV roundup!
(I’m cleaning a table that a young couple just left and find a used tampon floating in their old drink and a pregnancy test hiding in their napkin. I turn around to see a frantic woman.)
Customer: “Where is it?!”
Me: “Uh… excuse me?”
Customer: “I left some personal things here. What happened to them?”
(I look at my tub and then back at her. She looks at my tub and then back at me, and suddenly turns pale.)
Customer: “Oh…”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am?”
Customer: *suddenly quiet* “Do you remember what the result was?”
Me: “I’m sorry?”
Customer: “Well, that’s just f****** great! Thanks for nothing!”
This story is part of our Grossest Customers Ever roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!
23 Stories About Customers Who Shoul
d Quit Smoking – For OUR Health
Read the next Grossest Customers Ever roundup story!
Read the Grossest Customers Ever roundup!
(I am helping an elderly caller troubleshoot her computer issue, and I ask her to unplug her router. I hear a strange noise, after which her voice sounds very distant.)
Caller: “Okay, it’s unplugged.”
Me: “You sound really far away, ma’am. Did you drop the phone or something?”
Caller: “No, all I did was open the window… oh!”
(The caller starts laughing hysterically, and I can now hear her clearly.)
Me: “What happened, ma’am?”
Caller: “I was accidentally holding the mouse to my ear instead of the phone!”
(At the museum where I work, I see a patron knocking on one of our replicas with his knuckles.)
Patron: *to wife* “Hey, look, honey. This here is a replica!” *knocks again*
Me: “Sir, please don’t touch that.”
Patron: “But it’s a replica, isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes, it is, but we still ask that you don’t touch it.”
Patron: “Well, it’s not under a glass case, which means that it is not valuable. I have every right to touch it.”
Me: “No, actually–”
Patron: “Yes! If I see something that’s not cased, it means I can touch it, AND I WILL TOUCH IT!”
