All of our stories, starting with the newest!
(A mom, dad, and their son walk out of a 3D movie and are throwing their 3D glasses into the recycling bin.)
Son: “Can I keep my glasses?”
Mother: “No, we have to recycle them.”
Son: “What if I don’t?”
Mother: “Uh, well… then you go to purgatory!”
This story is part of our 3D Movies roundup!
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Read the 3D Movies roundup!
Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. We do not allow the use of photography in the museum.”
Guest: “I wasn’t taking a photograph!” *shows me her phone*
Me: “Sorry, the way you were holding your phone looked as if you were taking a photograph. Although not only did you take a photograph, but you saved it as your cell phone wallpaper and are currently showing it to me.”
This story is part of the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!
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Read the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!
(A customer walks up to the counter with a desktop and sets it down.)
Customer: “Excuse me, are you Catholic?”
Me: “No.”
Customer: “Well, I think it’s possessed and it needs an exorcism. Do you have any Catholic workers?”
Me: “I don’t think so. Maybe I can take a look at it?”
Customer: “No! You have to be Catholic!” *takes his desktop and leaves*
This story is part of the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!
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Read the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!
(I’m an employee stocking the shelf at one end of an aisle. A customer enters at the far end by the milk and is coughing constantly.)
Customer: *coughs*
(I briefly glance over. She’s staring at the milk.)
Customer: *coughs again*
(There’s a long pause. She’s still staring at the milk.)
Customer: *loud coughing*
(I turn to see if she is covering her mouth, but instead, see her charging down the aisle at me.)
Customer: “What is wrong with you?! I’ve been coughing to get your attention down there for five minutes! ”
Me: “Ma’am, I glanced over at you several times. You never looked at me.”
Customer: “Oh, yes I did! What does a person have to do here, fall on the floor and have a seizure to get some milk?!”
This story is part of the Customers Expecting Mind-Readers roundup!
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Read the Customers Expecting Mind-Readers roundup!
Did you find this story using our World Milk Day roundup?
Caller: “It won’t stop loading! I’ve been waiting for twenty minutes and it hasn’t stopped loading yet! Help me!”
Me: “All right, ma’am. Let’s start by refreshing the page.”
Caller: “Re… what?”
Me: “Refreshing, ma’am.”
Caller: “How do I do so?”
Me: “Which kind of computer do you have?”
Caller: “Why?”
Me: “Which button you have to push depends on your computer. Is it a normal PC or an Apple?”
Caller: *to husband* “Honey, she’s rambling! Now she thinks we’re selling apples! How stupid does she think I am!?” *click*
This story is part of our Macintosh roundup!
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Read the Macintosh roundup!
