All of our stories, starting with the newest!
(My husband and I are in bed, but first, he decides to play a little Mario on his Nintendo DS. He’s reached the castle where the princess is waiting. A square on the screen is rapidly changing between possible rewards.)
Me: “Try to get a life!”
(Quickly realizing what I said, we both laugh.)
Me: “You know what I meant.”
This story is part of the Mario-themed roundup!
Read the next Mario-themed roundup story!
Read the Mario-themed roundup!
(Our local chiropractor office is very small, and often times you can hear things from the adjoining room. While waiting for our adjustments, my husband and I hear the following conversation.)
Doctor: “…and I see that you’re under a lot of stress right now.”
Wife: “How’d you know that?”
Doctor: “Well, you’re obviously fighting with each other.”
Wife: *shouting* “How did you know that!?”
Doctor: “Well, your husband wrote your names on the sign in sheet as ‘[Husband’s Name] and Butthead‘.”
(My boyfriend and I like to hang out in my old kitchen, which has a large duct vent above the doorway. I catch him staring at it, in awe.)
Me: “What’s up babe?”
Boyfriend: *slowly breaking his gaze to look at me* “There could be gremlins in there and I’d never know…”
Me: *burst out laughing*
(The boyfriend has recently decided to goofily make me his pet, which means he’s responsible for my grooming. After an intimate night, he cups my crotch.)
Boyfriend: “You know, you’re getting a bit shaggy.”
Me: “Well, you’re the one who—”
Boyfriend: “Oh my God! I just had a brilliant idea! It’ll be difficult, but d*** it, it’ll work!”
Me: “What are you talking about?”
Boyfriend: “I’m going to get a stencil of the Batman logo, and shave it into your hair down there.”
Me: “You’re kidding, right? Please tell me you’re kidding.”
Boyfriend: “Nope! Do you know why?”
Me: “I have no idea.”
Boyfriend: “So I can call it ‘The Bat Cave’!”
(My little sister, just 2 years old, has just started day care and has come home with her first piece of art; a bunch of colorful squiggles.)
Step-mom: “That’s so pretty! What is it?”
Sister: “My butt!”
Dad: “Your…what?”
Sister: “My butt!”
Step-mom: “Why did you draw your butt?”
Sister: “It was easier then my face!”
