(I am a cashier ringing up a woman, her husband and their young son who is about seven. The woman is having trouble with her credit card, which is an obscure foreign card.)

Woman: “Ugh! I hate this store! I knew I shouldn’t have come here! Everyone here is just stupid! Their machines never let me use credit on my card! It’s just stupid.” *to her husband* “Why did you suggest we come here instead of [competitor]?! Everyone here is just useless!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I will certainly pass the message along to my superior. In the mean time, because it’s only $10.45, would you like to pay via cash?”

Woman: “No [son], you can’t have the stupid chocolate bar! I don’t know if I have enough bloody coins because of this stupid store!”

Boy: “But mummy, if you knew the card doesn’t work, why did we go here?”

Woman: *shuts up*

Me: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department. How can I help you?”

(All I hear from the customer is a high-pitched, incoherent screaming.)

Me: “Sir? Hello? I can’t understand what you are saying.”

(Still screaming.)

Me: “Sir, if you could just calm down and tell me the problem, I’m sure I can figure it out.”

(The customer keeps screaming. I hang up. Two minutes later, my colleague takes a call.)

Colleague: “Hello, you’re through to the billing department, how can I help you?”

(Incoherent screaming.)

Colleague: *looks at me* “It’s for you.”

(It is during the middle of a renovation at my work, but we have stayed open during the remodel. This makes for some bad organization and mistakes concerning where certain items go.)

(My coworker rings up a seemingly nice woman for an obviously expensive looking item for scrap-booking.)

Coworker: “You’re total is [amount].”

Customer: “Um, that isn’t right. I got this from the $1 sale bin.”

Coworker: “I am so sorry. See we are going through a renovation. This item must be put there by mistake.”

Customer: “Well it was there, so I should get it for a dollar.”

(My coworker gets our manager.)

Manager: “Yes, I am sorry ma’am, but unfortunately, we cannot give you this expensive of an item for a dollar.”

Customer: “BUT IT WAS IN THE SALE BIN!”

Manager: “I realize that. But we are all human and mistakes happen. If you would like to purchase it for full price that would be fine.”

(The customer makes a huge scene and yells obscenities at both the manager and co-worker. Oddly enough, she decides to buy the item anyway.)

Coworker: *perfectly normal, non-emotional voice* “Okay, that’ll be [amount].”

Customer: “WELL DON’T ACT SO HAPPY ABOUT IT! YOU FORCED ME TO BUY IT!” *leaves in a huff*

(I work for a large department store known for selling tools and hardware under their own brand. They have a lifetime guarantee on tools of this brand, and will exchange any broken or defective tool at any time. I am working in the tools department. A customer comes into the store with a whole lot of tools.)

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to exchange all of my tools for new ones.”

Me: “All of your tools? Are they broken?”

Customer: “No, they’re not broken. They’re used. I want new nice looking tools.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, we cannot exchange all of your tools just because they’re used. We can only exchange them if they are broken or defective.”

Customer: “But they have a lifetime guarantee! I can exchange them any time I want! And now they’re used, and I just got a new job working for a car dealership, and I want new tools that look nice! You have to exchange these!”

Me: “Sir, are you going to be actually working on cars, or just hanging your tools on your wall?”

Customer: “Get me your manager now!”

(I call my manager, and overhear part of his conversation with the customer.)

Customer: “No, they’re just used. I want new tools that look nice for my new job at a car dealership.”

Manager: “So, are you actually going to work on cars with your tools, or just hang them on the wall?”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

(I work as a barista while my coworker is on the till. It is the lunch rush and we have a queue of about 15 people. We have been working nonstop for several hours and so are running out of supplies and mugs. I am currently finishing an order for a lady—Customer #1—and preparing to make drinks for the next elderly gentleman—Customer #2.)

Customer #2: *loudly* “I can’t believe how slow this service is! It’s absolutely ridiculous! I’ve only come in here for a cup of coffee!”

(He continues to moan in this manner. I set up the saucers and cutlery for Customer #1.)

Customer #1: *HUGE smile on her face* “Look how hard these girls are working! They are working nonstop! How long are you here until young lady?”

Me: “6 pm.”

Customer #1: “Oh, dear! That’s quite late!”

Me: “It’s alright, really. Today hasn’t been so hectic.”

Customer #1: “Well, you girls really do work hard. It’s to be commended!”

Me: “Thank you very much! Enjoy your drinks and have a nice day!”

(I move on to Customer #2, who by this point has shut up and is looking at the floor. I make his drinks and finish his order and he doesn’t say a word. That lady really perked me up for the rest of my day and it’s nice to see my work is appreciated by some! Thank you!)