(It is a busy day at the airport and I am working two separate car rental counters; although they are under different names, both are owned by the same company. We usually have someone else working the other counter, but because we expect the day to be slower my boss asks me to work both. The longer my line gets, the more agitated the customers are getting.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my rental car, and I have a reservation.”

(He hands me his confirmation page for the rental, and I begin creating his rental contract.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like it will be a few minutes before we have the car size you reserved clean and available for you.”

Customer: “Oh, well that’s ridiculous! I have a reservation that I made three months ago, and you don’t have my car ready?!”

(Although he did book in advance, I notice that the customer is actually four hours early to pick up his car.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me try to call down to our service guys and see what they are cleaning right now. We’ll get you into that car as soon as it is finished getting detailed.”

Customer: “If they aren’t working on the size car that I have reserved, I do not want it!”

Me: “Of course, but if it is a bigger car you will automatically get a free upgrade to that car class.”

Customer: “If you cant get the size car that I have reserved available, then I demand a discount or I will go somewhere else!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t give you a discount for us not having the car class you reserved 4 hours before your actual reserved time. I apologize for the inconvenience, but the free upgrade offer still stands if you would like it.”

Customer: “I do not want a bigger car because that is not what I reserved! If that is all you can do, give me back my confirmation page, and I will find someone else to match the rates and actually honor my reservation!”

Me: “You are more than welcome to do that, sir, but if you decide to come back for a car, you will have to wait in line again.”

Customer: “Oh, I won’t be back!”

(My coworker has now arrived at my sister company’s counter, which is right next to mine. She is wearing the same uniform as me. As soon as she gets ready to help customers, half of the people in my line form one in front of her. When I finish my last customer, I look at her line and see the stubborn customer standing at the end. When my coworker begins to help the person in front of the stubborn customer, I walk into the connected back office and back out to my coworker’s counter to help.)

Me: “I can help whoever is next.”

(The stubborn customer looks up, at first excited for it to be his turn. However, when he makes eye contact with me, his smile falls. He looks angry and confused.)

Customer: “Why are you at this counter now?!”

Me: “These two companies are sister companies, so I help out when she gets a line, and vice versa.”

Customer: *he hands me his confirmation page* “So, I’m guessing this makes it that much easier to match my rate then, huh?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(I look down and begin typing away, and when I get to the screen that shows me which vehicles are available, I can see that the car class he reserved is available. However, now there is a ‘WAIT’, as someone that has reserved the same car class has already been waiting.)

Me: “It appears that you are right on time for your reservation, but I’m sorry, sir; there appears to be a wait on cars. If you would like to complete your contract, I can get you in line to get your car as quickly as possible.”

Customer: “Are you kidding me!?”

Me: “No, sir, I’m sorry but I’m not. You were actually the first customer to be in line to get a car when you left my counter. Unfortunately, you are now are behind other customers that are waiting.”

(The customer doesn’t say another word; instead, he snatches the confirmation page from my hands and proceeds to the doors of the concourse. I watch him for a minute until he gets into a taxi and takes off.)

(I have been recently hospitalized and underwent emergency surgery, and my husband and I lost a lot of work because of it. I’m a little behind on bills but doing what I can. I come to payment arrangements with multiple creditors, including one I have been continuing to receive phone calls from.)

Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller] from [Credit Card Company] looking for [My Name].”

Me: “Hi. Yeah, this is she. I think I know why you’re calling.”

Caller: “Yes, ma’am. I see here that—”

Me: “You know, I’ve been getting calls from just this company for almost two weeks. We have a payment arrangement. I’ve talked to just about every branch over there.”

Caller: “Yes, I understand—”

Me: “And you are still coming after me! I’m giving you what money I’ve got when I can! Don’t you even read the notes on the account before you call? Do you even know anything about this? Or are you just an air-headed vampire that doesn’t give a d*** whose blood you’re sucking out?”

Caller: “Ma’am, I am sorry to bother you, but I am calling regarding a broken agreement.”

Me: “Uh… pardon?”

Caller: “Yes, ma’am. It appears we tried to follow through on your previous payment agreement, but your bank indicates that checking account was closed. Have you changed banks recently?”

Me: “Um, yeah. I thought I changed everything over, though.”

Caller: “That’s understandable. There’s a lot to think about when opening new accounts. So I’m just calling to see if you wanted to reset the payment arrangement with your new account.”

Me: “Yes, absolutely!”

(After several minutes of setting up the new checking account with the credit card, during which time the caller was amazingly polite, funny, and understanding, we got everything straight. I then asked to speak to her supervisor.)

Supervisor: “Yes, ma’am! What can I do for you?”

Me: “I spoke with [Caller] and she was just amazing. I treated her like crap and she remained respectful and courteous. She was very professional and didn’t belittle me. She was awesome. In the end, I’m giving you money, and I’m happy about it. You have some great people over there. So please give her some recognition or something, because I was a b***, and I can’t say that I would’ve treated me as graciously as she did. Thumbs up, sir!”

Supervisor: “Thanks for the feedback. Have a great day, ma’am!”

(Suffice to say, that lesson was my Christmas present.)

Related:
Taking Account Of Your Actions

(We are watching ‘The Day After Tomorrow’. The hero is dragging his unconscious colleague through the snow on a sled.)

Boyfriend: “Would you drag me along with you if we were in that situation?”

Me: “Aw, of course I would! Would you drag me?”

Boyfriend: “Yeah, because when you died I could eat you.”

(My boyfriend is very lazy, so when we’re lying around, I’m normally the one getting things or putting things away. My boyfriend is flexing his hands to get his phone from across the room.)

Me: “What are you doing?”

Boyfriend: “I’m using the force to get my phone.”

(I get up to get it.)

Boyfriend: “The force, I have.”

Me: “No, a girlfriend, you have.”

(I have a great relationship with my boss, so she knows I have a lot of issues with my future mother-in-law. I have just had a truly awful Christmas experience with her lying and manipulating my fiancé over her coming into town for the holidays, and a several hour long conversation where she told me everything I was thinking about for my wedding was wrong and against their family traditions.)

Me: “I just don’t want her involved. She already tried to make the engagement all about her, and now she’s doing the same thing for the wedding!”

Boss: “Well, what are you going to do about it? She’s not going away if you keep him in your life.”

Me: “I think I’m going to announce a really horrendous wedding theme. Remember that one girl who’s renting the hall next door who’s theme is ‘Monsters and Rainbows’? Yeah… I’m gonna go with ‘Drag Queens and Superheroes’!”

Boss: “I am not dressing up as a drag queen!”

Me: “No no no! You’re a woman! You have to pick a male superhero to dress up as!”

Boss: “So, what, he’ll be Wonder Woman?”

Me: “Sure, why not? I can be Superman!”

Boss: “And how will he feel about this?”

Me: “I’ll text him right now.”

(I text him the idea, having a lot of fun with the joke as various co-workers are picking superheroes.)

Fiancé: “Noooo! That’s the worst idea ever!”

Me: “It’s just a joke!”

Fiancé: “Not that! I can’t be DC! I hate DC! I’ll be Jean Grey and you can be Cyclops.”

Me: “If I am any X-men ever, I am Wolverine.”

Fiancé: “Our slash-fic shall live forever.”

Me: *to my boss* “Yep, he’s officially perfect. I’ll take him even with a side of crazy mom.”