(I’m traveling with my triplet brothers. I get to the hotel restaurant before they do, and they arrive one at a time. Brother #1 sits down and takes a menu from the waitress.)

Brother #1: “Have you ordered yet?”

Me: “No, I just got here. I ordered a pot of tea; that’s all.”

Brother #1: “Oh, excellent. I’ll be right back. I’ve got to wash my hands.”

(He leaves, and Brother #2 arrives, sitting down across the table.)

Waitress: “Hey, weren’t you sitting over here?”

Brother #2: “No, ma’am. But may I have some water?”

(She leaves, confused. When she comes back, all three of them are at the table.)

Waitress: “Oh, my God! There’s three of you! Oh, thank god! I thought I was going crazy. I saw one of you out by the hostess’ desk, and another one coming from the restroom!”

(I am about five years old, and the first niece on this side of the family. My uncle has announced at dinner that he’s going to be married.)
 
Me: “I can’t wait to be a flower girl!”
 
Uncle: “That’d be nice, sweetie. But [future aunt] has nieces, too. She may want them to be flower girls.”
 
(I set my fork down, and look my uncle right in the eyes, very seriously.)
 
Me: “Uncle, if you break my heart, I will never speak to you again.”
 
(My uncle got up from his meal to call his fiancée, and I got to be a co-flower girl! I have since apologized for emotional blackmail.)

(I’m a semi-regular at a sandwich shop near my home. One day, after a wearying day of work, I pop in a little early for dinner. The only employees there are a pair of college-age girls.)

Me: “I’d like a foot-long turkey and ham on wheat, please.”

Employee #1: “Mm-hm. BLT on Italian bread?”

Me: “Um, no. Turkey and ham on wheat.”

Employee #1: “Oh, ok. Would you like that toasted?”

Me: “Sure.”

(Employee #1 finishes putting the correct meat and cheese on the sandwich. She looks confused for a second.)

Employee #1: “You wanted that toasted, right?”

Me: “…Yes. Just said that.”

(Employee #1 looks embarrassed, so I try to give her a reassuring smile as she goes to toast the sandwich. While I’m waiting, Employee #2 goes ahead and takes my payment for the sandwich with no fuss. Employee #1 returns with the sandwich.)

Employee #1: “Toppings?”

Me: “Lettuce, tomato, jalapeño, and bell pepper, please.”

Employee #1: “…Banana pepper?”

Me: “Bell.”

Employee #1: “Okay, sorry about all that. Here is your sandwich.”

Me: “Thanks. And I’ve already paid.”

Employee #2: “No, you haven’t.”

Me: “What? But you just took it…”

(Employee #2 starts giggling.)

Employee #2: “Haha! That was worth it for the look on your face!”

(Both Employees #1 and #2 have a few laughs.)

Me: “Why would you even do that? After the day I’ve been having!”

Employees #1 & #2: “Uh.”

(I start for the door, but turn around and grin.)

Me: “That was worth it for the look on your faces.”

(I am a student employee at my university’s dining hall. My coworker is an older man known for being grouchy. It is Christmastime and one of my favorite carols comes on the radio.)

Coworker: “Why are you grinning so much, huh?”

Me: “The song. I was named after this song.”

Coworker: “Huh. I knew there was a reason I didn’t like it.”

This story is part of the Christmas In The Workplace roundup!

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(It’s my day off, but I’m at the craft store where I work as a customer. I need some fabric for a costume I’ll be wearing at a comic book convention later that evening. I approach the fabric-cutting counter and see my manager, who isn’t the friendliest person.)

Me: “I need three-quarters of a yard, please.”

Manager: “Sure thing. By the way, can you come in later today?”

Me: “Sorry, but no. I’m going to [comic book convention]. I just needed to get some fabric for the sleeves to my costume.”

Manager: *sourly* “See, it’s people like you that are the reason I have to hire so many new employees this season. I was only going to hire two, but now I have to hire six!”

(As my manager says this, a line of customers is starting to form behind me.)

Me: “I come in every other time I am asked to. I come in on time, and work my whole shift. I cover for many others as well. This is one of my few days off, and I’ve already paid for the convention.”

Manager: “I don’t care. You should still come in!”

Me: “I wouldn’t make back the money I have already spent on it. It would be a waste. So no, I’m not going to come in on my one day off.”

(I eventually leave the counter, but not before my manager says a few last things to me. I am waiting in line at the register when another customer approaches me.)

Customer: “That was unacceptable. She shouldn’t have treated you that way.”

Me: “It’s fine, ma’am. She’s my boss, and I’m used to it.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t have to be used to it! What’s her higher-up’s phone number? I have a few things to say myself!”

(The customer did end up calling corporate, but it really didn’t do anything. It made me feel a little better though, knowing that even customers didn’t appreciate how we were treated. I eventually quit and have never looked back!)