Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

All of our stories, starting with the newest!

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2008

(It’s December 24th, the last day for Christmas shopping.)

Customer: “Do you have a Nintendo Wii?”

Me: “No, sir, unfortunately we are all sold out.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “It’s just pretty much the top holiday item, sir, and we have been selling out of the Wiis non-stop since last November.”

Customer: “When do you get them in?”

Me: “I don’t know. Not until after February, probably.”

Customer: “D**n it! I have kids, you know! Show some sympathy!”

Me: “So do probably 70 of the 100 people in line behind you, sir. Now, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “What if I slip you a $20?”

Me: “What about, no.”

Customer: *obviously thinking I’m stupid* “Well, sell me the box you have right there up on the corner of your shelf, you liar!”

Me: “I can’t sell it to you, but I guess I could give it to you for free if it makes you feel better. There’s nothing in there, by the way…”

(Customer apparently completely ignores that last line.)

Customer: “H***, YEAH! I GOT MYSELF A WII! HAHAHAHAHA! MERRY CHRISTMAS, SUCKERS!”

(Crowd stands with death glares fixated on me and the guy.)

Me: *hands him the box* “Merry Christmas… Next person, please.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F***?! GOD D***! S***! There’s nothing in this d*** box!”

Next Customer: “That’s because he said that was just a display box. He gave it to you just so you could be happy and you accepted it, moron!”

(The crowd of customers returned to holiday mode.)

So This Is Why People Have Kids

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2008

(It’s Christmas Eve and there is a long line of customers who are now waiting to pay. A little girl cuts to the front while I am giving a guy a drink refill.)

Little Girl’s Mom: *to the refill guy* “UGH! Did you just cut her?”

(The mom smacks the guy on the head; surprisingly, he just walks off with his soda.)

Me: “What can I get you?”

Little Girl’s Mom: “Don’t ask me, ask her! She’s your customer; you should be asking her. God, it’s people like you who ruin the holidays!”

Me: *to the little girl* “Okay, what would you like?”

(The little girl just stares blankly at me while customers are becoming pissed.)

Little Girl’s Mom: *coming clean* “Just give me a diet [Soda]. It’s for me.”

“Professional” Photography

, , | Right | January 18, 2008

(Customer has been browsing their pictures for a few minutes and I’ve been working on other orders.)

Customer: “Hey!”

(The customer taps the envelope on the counter obnoxiously to get my attention.)

Me: “Yes. sir?”

Customer: “You ruined my pictures!” *throws pictures on the counter*

Me: “Sir, they look fine to me.”

Customer: “You put your fingers in my pictures!”

Me: “That’s impossible, sir, there’s no way my fingers could be in your pictures.”

Customer: “They stuck them in the way when you were printing them.”

Me: “No, sir, the way our machine works that just can’t happen. The only way there could be fingers in the pictures is if whoever was taking the picture accidentally let their fingers get in the shot.”

Customer: “Well, I’m a professional and I took all these pictures so I know it wasn’t me. It has to be your fingers!”

Me: “Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?”

Customer: *looks annoyed and confused* “No…”

Me: “They’re not my fingers then.”

(This continued for another fifteen minutes, with the customer complaining about our machine being out of focus and a mystery line that very obviously resembled a camera strap.)


This story is part of the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!

Read the next Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup story!

Read the Customers-Are-Bad-Photographers roundup!

The Shock And Thaw Strategy

, , | Right | January 18, 2008

Customer: “I need a fan.”

Me: “What kind of fan?”

Customer: “A fan for where I plug my modem in.”

Me: “Do you have it with you?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

(Customer leaves and returns with the computer. A hairdryer is duct-taped to the power supply, nozzle pointing into where the fan normally sits.)

Me: *dumbfounded* “Why is there a hairdryer taped to your computer?”

Customer: “Well, I have to keep it warm, or it will freeze up.”

Those Heathens And Their Time-Telling Ways

, , , , | Right | January 17, 2008

Customer: “What time does the film start?”

Me: “The film starts fifteen minutes after the time on your ticket. There are fifteen minutes of ads and trailers.”

Customer: “No, I said what time does the F-I-L-M start?!”

Me: “The film starts after fifteen minutes of trailers, so fifteen minutes after whatever it says on the ticket. Your ticket says 3:30 pm, so the film would start at 3:45. Okay?”

Customer: “Don’t blind me with science!”