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Out Of Tune With The Conversation

, , , | Right | July 19, 2010

(I’ve worked at this camp on and off for a few years, and a lot of the kids remember me from previous years.)

Kid #1: “Why weren’t you here last year?”

Me: “This camp and band camp were at the same time, so I chose to go to band camp since it was the last time I’d be with my friends.”

Kid #1: “That’s so cool! What do you play?”

Me: “Clarinet in band, but I also play piano.”

Kid #1: “I play piano, too!”

(We continue talking about different instruments we play when another girl joins in.)

Kid #2: “I play an instrument, too.”

Me: “Really? Do you play piano, too, or something?”

Kid #2: “Well, I listen to Taylor Swift. Does that count?”


This story is part of our Musically Ignorant Customers roundup!

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Who Is The Dumbest Of Them All

, , , | Right | July 19, 2010

Customer: “Are these mirrors weird?”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “These mirrors, are they weird?”

Me: “Not to my knowledge.”

Customer: *looks in mirror* “But that’s not me!”


This story is part of our Weird Customers roundup!

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Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It, Part 2

, , , | Right | July 19, 2010

(The customer is worried that her Internet account is being hacked because she doesn’t have the proper login to see her billing information.)

Caller: “You need to help me!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem?”

Caller: “My account is being hacked!”

Me: “How do you know that you’re being hacked?”

Caller: “I can’t see my billing information.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. You may not have the administrative logins. Let me get them for you.”

(I pull up the woman’s account.)

Me: “Your username is [username] and your password is [password]. Please try to log in and let me know if you can see your billing information.”

Caller: “You’re the hacker!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”

Caller: “How could you know my information if you aren’t the hacker?! That is my private information that only I can have access to and you can see it!”

Me: “I’m sorry that you feel that way, but I am not a hacker. I am here to help you.”

Caller: “I will report you to the FBI! Now I need to change my password. How do I do that?”

Me: “Would you like me to do that for you?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Related:
Some Computer Owners Just Can’t Hack It


This story is part of our customer conspiracy theorists roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

22 Times Religious Customers Went Biblical In The Store

 

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Give Them A Dress And They’ll Want A Yard

, , , , | Right | July 18, 2010

(I sell a dress to a lady and she leaves. As I am coming back from hanging a sign, she returns to the yard sale.)

Customer: “I want to return this dress.”

Me: “This is a yard sale. I don’t take returns.”

Customer: “You don’t have a sign up. You should have a sign that says no returns.”

Me: “I don’t need one. This is a yard sale.”

Customer: *getting angry* “I want to return the dress. I don’t want it anymore!”

Me:  “This is a yard sale. I am not a store, so I do not take returns.”

Customer: “That’s dishonest; I’m calling 911!”

(The customer dials 911 on her cell phone and I hear her talking to the dispatcher.)

Customer: “Hello! I’m at a yard sale and they won’t take back my dress!”


This story is part of our Garage Sale roundup!

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Bean There, Done That

, , , , | Right | July 18, 2010

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “I just came from Mexico. I had some good beans there. What were they? Ah, yes! Frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, frijoles is just the word for beans in Spanish.”

Customer: “No! I had special beans in Mexico and they were called frijoles! Get me frijoles!”

Me: “Sir, we only have refried beans at this deli. These are frijoles. Would you like these, or something else?”

Customer: “Frijoles! How is this so difficult to understand?”

Me: “Sir, frijoles are beans… in Spanish.”

Customer: “Then get me beans in Spanish!”


This story is part of our Confused-With-Spanish roundup!

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