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All of our stories, starting with the newest!

OCD Is Under-appreciated

| Right | September 23, 2011

Customer: “Your books are out of order.”

Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes people take books off the shelf then don’t put them back exactly where they were. Did you need help finding something?”

Customer: “No, the order’s just wrong.”

Me: “Okay, thanks for letting us know.”

Customer: “Would you like me to fix them for you?”

Me: “That’s really not necessary. Thank you, though.”

Customer: *pause* “Can I sort them for you?”

Me: “Um, if you really want to, I suppose.”

(To my surprise, the customer actually sorted everything!)

A Mother’s Gift

| Right | September 23, 2011

Me: “Okay, before I reset your password, I just need you to verify your identity for me. Please respond to the security question that you set up when you made your account.”

User: “Okay, what is it?”

Me: “It looks like your security question is…’Show me what yo’ mamma gave you!'”

User: *raucous laughter*

(We laugh about it together for a good minute. The sound is so loud it draws the attention of my coworkers. He then admits that he remembers entering that security question, but has no idea what he put as the answer — which was simply his name.)

Not A Pretty Slight

| Romantic | September 22, 2011

(At the grocery store, a boy at the seafood counter is very flirty and smiling constantly. Here’s what happens when I return to the car with my boyfriend.)

Me: “Jesus, baby, the guy in there was looking at me like I was the prettiest girl in the world!”

Boyfriend: “Must have been a slow day!”

Return To (Relationship) Ender

| Romantic | September 22, 2011

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to order some flowers for delivery. I went on a date last night, and I’d like to show her I’m still thinking about her by sending her flowers.”

Me: “That’s sweet. what would you like?”

Caller: “I don’t know. What would you like?”

Me: “Well, you can’t go wrong with a dozen roses.”

Caller: “Sounds good. I’ll do that.”

Me: “Okay. How would you like to pay for that?”

Caller: “Cash on delivery.”

Me: “Wait a minute…you want to have flowers sent to your date, but you want her to pay for them?”

Caller: “Yeah, so? Can we do that?”

Dumb&Dumberest

| Right | September 22, 2011

(I work at an IT helpdesk that supports store managers. A manager calls in about problems with their telephone system.)

Me: “Can you tell me what model equipment are you guys are using?”

Customer: “I don’t know what kind it is.”

Me: “Can you read me what the label says on unit?”

Customer: “It says A…T…something in Chinese…and another T.”

Me: “Chinese?”

Customer: “I’m gonna unplug it.”

Me: “No, wait. Don’t–” *call disconnects*

(Since he disconnected his entire telephone system, we couldn’t contact the store and had to drive down to talk to them personally. We ended up having to hire a 3rd party tech to go out and plug that device back in and reconfigure the entire system. Apparently, they don’t have the ampersand in Alabama.)