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Spaced Out

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2011

(I work in the astronomy section of my local natural history museum, which features several large NASA photos. A visitor approaches me and points at a picture of an astronaut doing a spacewalk.)

Visitor: “What is that astronaut doing?”

Me: “Oh, he’s doing a spacewalk.”

Visitor: “You can walk… in space?!”

Me: “Well, no. They just sort of float there while tethered to the spacecraft. They only do it when they need to exit the shuttle to do repairs.”

Visitor: “Oh…” *points at a photo of Apollo 11 launching* “What’s that?”

Me: “That’s Apollo 11 launching to put the first humans on the moon.”

Visitor: “Oh… why didn’t they just build a big ladder?”

Hell In A Recycle Basket

, , , , | Right | February 4, 2011

(A mom, dad, and their son walk out of a 3D movie and are throwing their 3D glasses into the recycling bin.)

Son: “Can I keep my glasses?”

Mother: “No, we have to recycle them.”

Son: “What if I don’t?”

Mother: “Uh, well… then you go to purgatory!”


This story is part of our 3D Movies roundup!

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When Photos Are Exposed

, , , , , | Right | February 4, 2011

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am. We do not allow the use of photography in the museum.”

Guest: “I wasn’t taking a photograph!” *shows me her phone*

Me: “Sorry, the way you were holding your phone looked as if you were taking a photograph. Although not only did you take a photograph, but you saved it as your cell phone wallpaper and are currently showing it to me.”


This story is part of the Lying-Customers-Getting-Caught roundup!

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Needs A Mass Reboot

, , , , , , | Right | February 4, 2011

(A customer walks up to the counter with a desktop and sets it down.)

Customer: “Excuse me, are you Catholic?”

Me: “No.”

Customer: “Well, I think it’s possessed and it needs an exorcism. Do you have any Catholic workers?”

Me: “I don’t think so. Maybe I can take a look at it?”

Customer: “No! You have to be Catholic!” *takes his desktop and leaves*


This story is part of the Even-Stranger-Customers roundup!

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You (Could Have) Had Me At Hello

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2011

(I’m an employee stocking the shelf at one end of an aisle. A customer enters at the far end by the milk and is coughing constantly.)

Customer: *coughs*

(I briefly glance over. She’s staring at the milk.)

Customer: *coughs again*

(There’s a long pause. She’s still staring at the milk.)

Customer: *loud coughing*

(I turn to see if she is covering her mouth, but instead, see her charging down the aisle at me.)

Customer: “What is wrong with you?! I’ve been coughing to get your attention down there for five minutes! ”

Me: “Ma’am, I glanced over at you several times. You never looked at me.”

Customer: “Oh, yes I did! What does a person have to do here, fall on the floor and have a seizure to get some milk?!”


This story is part of the Customers Expecting Mind-Readers roundup!

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