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Too Much Shinformation

, | Right | January 18, 2010

Me: “Hi there, sir, can I find you a size in those jeans?”

Customer: “Yeah, but I’m not sure what size I am.”

Me: “Oh, well–”

Customer: “Wait, I can check!”

(The customer undoes his pants and pulls them down to his knees.)

Customer: “Check! Find the tag! I don’t know where it is; find my size!”


This story is part of our Need For Hazard Pay roundup!

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Un-Beaver-able

, , , | Right | January 18, 2010

Me: “Hello, may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering if every creature you have a statue of is actually living?”

Me: “Yes, sir, everything you see in here you can find somewhere in the wilderness.”

Customer: “Then why do you have a beaver?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me. If everything in here is actually a living creature then why do you have beavers?”

Me: “Well, sir, beavers are living creatures. Haven’t you ever seen one in the pond down the road?”

Customer: “What? Beavers are real? My whole life I thought they were mythical creatures.”

(The customer walked away, looking lost and confused.)


This story is part of our “Not Getting Art” Roundup!

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One Adapter To Plug Them All

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2010

Me: “Good morning. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I need an adapter.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, what kind of adapter?”

Customer: “You mean there’s more than one?”


This story is part of our Terrible Tech Support Calls roundup!

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Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

, , , , | Right | January 18, 2010

Me: “Do you have your rewards card with you, sir?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I don’t. Do I not get a discount?”

Me: “Of course you still can! What’s your phone number?”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “Seventeen.”

Customer: “You’re not even legal! I can’t do that.”

Me: “Uh, no, sir. I need it to look up for your discount.”

Customer: “Oh…” *tells me his phone number* “…but don’t call me after 5. That’s when my wife gets home.”

Gives New Meaning To ‘Manually Eject’

, , , , | Romantic | January 15, 2010

(An couple in their 50s enter the store with a laptop.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”

Husband: “Well, my laptop won’t turn on. It just goes to a black screen.”

Me: “Okay, sir, we can have the technicians do a diagnostic to figure out what the problem is.”

Husband: “I also think I might have left a disc in the DVD drive.”

Me: “Oh, no problem. I’ll show you how to manually eject the disc before you leave so you can take it home.”

(I grab a paperclip and manually eject the disc. The disc in the drive is a p*rn DVD. Immediately, the husband snatches it out of the tray and stuffs it into his pocket.)

Husband: *mumbles* “That’s not the disc I thought it was.”

Wife: *silently fuming*