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When Stupidity Hits The Pint Of No Return

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2010

Customer #1: “I see you changed your sizes?”

Me: “Yeah, we had to change it from pint and quart because too many people were asking which was bigger. Now we’ve got large and small.”

Customer #1: “They can’t tell by the price?”

Me: “Maybe they aren’t stressing it in schools anymore.”

(A second customer walks in and looks at a menu for a second.)

Customer #1: “But that is sad, kids don’t know which is bigger.”

Customer #2: “What’s bigger?”

Me: “Pint or a quart.”

Customer #2: “That’s pathetic.”

(A few moments of silence pass.)

Customer #2: “So, which is bigger, the large or the small?”

This story is part of the “What Are They Teaching In School These Days?!” roundup!

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How About Ten To The Durrrrr

, , , | Right | January 20, 2010

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Bank]. What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I want to withdraw ten-hundred dollars.”

Me: “Ten-hundred? Is that one thousand?”

Customer: “Don’t say that so loud! I don’t want people to think I’m getting one thousand. That’s why I said ten-hundred!”

This story is part of the Ignorant About Money roundup!

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Senseless Sensibility

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2010

Customer: “Do you have the movie Sense and Sensibility?”

Me: “Yes, we do; did you want the British or the American version?”

Customer: “I don’t know which one it was, but it has two parts.”

Me: “I think that would be the British version.”

(I take her to the section and show her the movie.)

Customer: “Yes, that’s it! I’ll take it!”

Me: “Great! Is there anything else I can do for you?”

Customer: “Does this movie use subtitles?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s British.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t know! I’m not an English major!”

This story is part of the Scared-Of-Subtitles roundup!

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Kill The Bill, Double The Trouble

, , , , , | Right | January 20, 2010

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we cannot accept $50 bills. It’s against our security policy.”

Customer: “When the h*** did this happen?”

Me: “Two years ago, ma’am.”

Customer: “I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill.”

Me: “Ma’am, our register wouldn’t allow us to enter $100 bills. Do you happen to have a credit card?”

Customer: “What’s your name! I want to speak with your manager!”

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “Your staff is lying by telling me he cannot accept a $50 bill. I was in here last week and paid with a $100 bill!”

Manager: “I was on register all last week, ma’am, and I would have told you the same thing. It’s against our policy to accept bills $50 or larger.”

Customer: “FINE!” *rips the bill in half* “HOW ABOUT NOW?”

It Reminds Her Of A Full Moon

, , , | Right | January 19, 2010

(Our coffee shop offers a punch card where ten coffees equal a free bagel.)

Supervisor: “Yes, ma’am? What’s the problem?”

Customer: “This girl will not get me a muffin! I have a punch card!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, the punch card is for a free bagel, not a muffin. I’d be more than happy to get you that bagel.”

Customer: “No! I want a muffin! Get me a muffin instead!”

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But muffins are more expensive than bagels. I can’t do that; it’s against policy.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. I’m never coming here again!”

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

Customer: “I can’t have bagels after dark!” *leaves the store*