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Your Logic Is See-Through

, , , , | Right | April 9, 2010

Caller: “Can you have someone clean the water fountain filter? The water comes out dirty.”

Me: “Are you sure it’s dirty? Or is it just cloudy? Sometimes we just get air bubbles in the filtration and it looks cloudy.”

Caller: “No. I put it in a glass and it comes out filthy.”

Me: “If you set the glass down for a few minutes–”

Caller: “Yeah, it clears up.”

Me: “Well, then, those are tiny air bubbles. As long as it clears up, that’s just-”

Caller: “No, but it comes out of the water fountain dirty. People drink from there.”

Me: “What if you put it into a glass, and leave it for a few minutes?”

Caller: “Right! It’s clean then! The glass cleans it!”

Me: “Actually, I don’t think it’s the glass.”

Driving On The Blind Side Of Caution

, , , | Right | April 9, 2010

(A couple comes up to me and points to the traffic intersection just outside the store.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what is that strange beeping sound that is happening when the lights change?”

Me: “Oh, that is the audio signal system to let blind or visually impaired people know when to cross the street. Each way has its own sound.”

Customer’s Wife: “You let your blind people drive?!”

Giving A Pizza His Mind

, , , , , | Right | April 9, 2010

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Would you like to try our two for $20 special today?”

Customer: “I hate my wife!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “She’s such a b****! I never did anything to deserve this. She’s so demanding and I can’t deal with it!” *continues ranting for a few minutes*

Me: “Sir, did you want to order a pizza?”

Customer: “No, I just needed someone to vent on.”

Me: “Oh. Well, I hope I helped.”

Customer: “It feels good to get that out! Have a good night.”

Me: “You too, sir!”

Customer: *click*

Obviously Not An Outsider

, , , | Right | April 8, 2010

(My flower stand is outside right next to a payphone, which starts ringing.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hi is this [Auto Company]?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “[Auto Company]? I need someone to look at my car.”

Me: “Sorry, this is a payphone. I just picked it up because I heard it ringing.”

Customer: “Are you sure you’re not in [Auto Company]?”

Me: “Nope, I’m outside.”

Customer: “Can you check?”


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Matchless Yet Priceless

, , , , | Right | April 8, 2010

Me: “Okay, that will be $230.11.”

Customer: “I’ll give you $75 for it.”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “$110.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Our prices are set.”

Customer: “Okay. $159.”

Me: “I am really sorry. I can’t bring it down from $230.11. If you’d like, I can help you pick out something within your price range?”

Customer: “Fine. Throw in that and I’ll get out of your hair.” (Points to a $100 handheld massager.)

Me: “I can’t do that. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “So much for price match! F*** this!” *leaves*