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Gullible’s Travels

, , , | Right | June 11, 2008

(I worked at a candy store in an area with a high population of tourists. We have a DVD constantly playing that shows them how the candy is made, obviously pre-recorded.)

Tourist Lady: “Ooh, is that the actual factory?”

Boss: “Actually, it’s a live satellite feed. They’re making that candy right now.”

Tourist Lady: “Fancy!”

(This is a DVD movie with edits and transitions, clearly playing on a Samsung DVD player. Oh, tourists, how I loathe thee.)


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Murphy’s Law In Action

, , | Right | June 11, 2008

Me: “Tall latte on the bar.”

(The latte does not get claimed.)

Me: “We’ve got a tall latte up here, ready for pickup.”

(The latte still does not get claimed. We make drinks for a few other customers, giving it a few more minutes.)

Me: “Okay, last call for a tall latte. If nobody claims it we’re pitching it.”

(The latte once against does not get claimed.)

Me: “Okay, then…”

(I pour the drink down the sink.)

Me: *to a coworker* “I bet that in less than 30 seconds we’ll get someone asking about a tall latte.”

Woman: *exactly 0.0001 seconds later* “Hi, was there a tall latte?”

There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid People, Part 2

, , | Right | June 11, 2008

(I overheard a coworker trying to help someone choose a plant.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a nice plant for the front of my house.”

Coworker: “All right, we have a number of excellent options to choose from. What kind of sun exposure does the spot get?”

Customer: “Well… it’s light all day, then dark at night.”

Me: *losing hope*

Next Time, Less Hair, More Planning

, , | Right | June 11, 2008

(My mother is a hostess in a Chinese buffet restaurant. Said restaurant only has Chinese employees. A woman with a fully stacked plate angrily approaches her.)

Woman: “Excuse me! There’s a hair in my food! You have to give this meal to me for free!”

(My mother looks at the woman’s plate, and what does she find? A single, long, blonde hair, neatly laid on top of her plate.)


This story was included in our Chinese Restaurant Roundup.

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… And They Say The Post Office Is Slow

, , , , | Right | June 11, 2008

(A customer is buying a stamp for a letter shortly after the 2007 price increase.)

Customer: “Why can’t I get a 39 cent stamp? You still have them.”

Me: “We still have them in stock, but we have to make up the difference with 2 cent stamps. Don’t worry, we’ll stick the right amount on for you.”

Customer: “I just want a 39 cent stamp.”

Me: “Okay, but your letter will not get there.”

Customer: “Just give me it!”

(The customer takes the stamp, affixes it, and tosses the letter into the slot. I promptly pick up the letter from the bin and stamp it “Insufficient Postage, Return To Sender”.)


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