(It is my first time at Burning Man, and ‘the man’ has just burned. Afterwards, my boyfriend and some of our friends go looking for where we parked our bikes. A very enthusiastic European woman bumps into me.)

Woman: “Oh! I am so sorry!”

(She looks at me. I am wearing a scarf that covers my eyes, nose, and mouth due to dust. Only my eyes are exposed.)

Woman: “Your EYES! They are magnificent!”

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

Woman: “You simply must let me hug you! Ah, new friend!”

(Although I’m a short person, I feel I am gifted in the art of hugs.)

Woman: “Ah! What wonderful loving hugs!”

Me: “If you like my hugs, try hugging him.”

(I pull over my boyfriend, who is very tall, a little chubby, with very big hands. He is ‘famed’ for his hug talent. He understands right away that I’m pimping out his hugs, and opens his arms for this woman.)

Woman: “Yeee!”

(She hugs him, then squeals, jumping up and hugging him with all four limbs.)

Woman: “Is like he is the papa bear, and I am the baby bear! Eeeeee! So nice!”

(Some people might have been jealous in this scenario. I thought it was the most hilarious, memorable, sweet thing I had seen the whole event. My boyfriend felt a lot of joy in being everyone’s ‘papa bear’ after that.)

(I am baking a cake and a friend has just dropped by to keep me company.)

Me: “Yeah, so I just put the cake into the oven.”

Friend: “Cool.”

Me: “Yep.”

Friend: “I can’t cook because I’m on my period.”

Me: “Mmh—wait WHAT? You can’t cook because you’re on your period?!”

Friend: “Mmhm.”

Me: *starts dying of laughter*

Friend: “Wait, what’d I just say?”

(My friends and I are playing ‘Hide and Seek’ in the house. I am ‘it’ and am counting down from 50, so they can go hide. When I get down to one, the following exchange occurs out in the hallway.)

Friend #1: “This is my hiding place! Go find somewhere else!”

Friend #2: “No, there’s room for both of us here. Move over.”

Friend #1: “If he finds us, he’ll get two instead of just one. Go!”

Friend #2: “Okay, fine! [Friend #1’s name] is hiding under the sheets in the hall closet!”

(I am a twin, and our names are rather similar. I have just gotten my grades and am shocked to find I have received a ‘D’ in gym class. I go to the teacher.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not sure why I got a ‘D’ in class?”

Teacher: “Well, you never dress for class and always find a way to not participate.”

Me: *shocked* “What do you mean?! I always dress, and I might not be the most athletic but I try!”

Teacher: “You never dress for your fourth period class.”

Me: “Sir… I don’t have fourth period gym. I have it first. Wait! Sir, you DO realize I am a twin right? [Sister] has gym fourth period.”

(The teacher ACTUALLY thought I had gym twice a day and only dressed for the first period. Once he checked the names he adjusted my grade and apologized repeatedly!)

(Today, the children are drinking hot chocolate while learning about cocoa and chocolate. It takes a while to give hot chocolate to all of them, so I decide to quiz them to keep them entertained.)

Me: “Okay, so now you know where chocolate comes from. Who can tell me where milk comes from?”

Children: *in unison* “From cows!”

Me: “Great. Do you know any other animal whose milk we use?”

Child #1: “Goats! Sheep”

Me: “You are really good. Tell me now: what is the name of the female of the sheep?”

Child #2: “Wool!”

(It was really hard not to crack up laughing!)