Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

All of our stories, starting with the newest!

Dr. Doolittle’s House Of Style

, , | Right | March 11, 2009

Me: “Thank you for calling [Cosmetics]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Do you test your product on animals?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we do not.”

Caller: “Not even on unicorns?”

Me: “Uhh… no.”

Caller: “What about mongooses?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “Dogs?”

Me: “No.”

Caller: “Then how do you test your products?”

Me: “I believe they’re tested by using clinical trials.”

Caller: “So, you don’t test your product on animals?”

Me: “No, we do not.”

Caller: “That’s great! Bye!” *hangs up*

1 Thumbs

Ed Begley Jr. Starts To Cut Back

, , , | Right | March 11, 2009

Me: “Would you like paper or plastic?”

Customer: “Oh, I’d like one of those nice canvas bags, please.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You know, one of those reusable canvas bags. Like the ones that she’s got!” *points to the next customer in line*

Me: “Uh, well, we don’t have those here, unfortunately. All we’ve got is paper or plastic. If you want a canvas bag, you’d have to buy one and bring it yourself.”

Customer: “What a load of crap! Why should I want to save the environment if I have to pay to do it?!”

Did you find this story on our World Environment Day roundup?

Click here to go to the next story!

Click here to go back to the roundup!

1 Thumbs

More Than A Few Crossed Wires

, , , | Right | March 11, 2009

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, can you tell me how to get to your store? I’m coming from the north end of the city.”

Me: “Okay, you’ll need to head south on 14th Street–”

Caller: “Whoa whoa whoa… slow down, you’re going too fast.”

Me: “Okay, sorry. You will need to head south–”

Caller: “Don’t talk to me in that tone of voice! Now explain it to me like a civil human being, and tell me how to get to your f****** store!”

Me: “…I’m sorry, ma’am. If you just head south–”

Caller: “What in God’s name is wrong with you? All I want to do is get to your f****** store so I can get some f****** music! Is that so d*** much to ask for? Look, young lady, I just got out of brain surgery and I can’t deal with your bull-s*** right now. You need to talk slowly to me. Okay, forget it, you’re wasting my time. I’ll find my way there myself! *hangs up*

1 Thumbs

Guidance Counseling, Customer Style

, , , | Right | March 11, 2009

(I’m finishing a long transaction for a supermarket customer.)

Customer: “You realise that you didn’t say ‘please’ or ‘thank you’ throughout all of that?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I thought I did.”

Customer: “Do you go to college or is this your full-time job?!’

Me: “I go to college, but–”


1 Thumbs

Taking The Supersizing Thing Too Far

, , | Right | March 11, 2009

(A customer is withdrawing several hundred dollars in cash.)

Me: “So, how would you like the cash today?”

Customer: “Um, I’ll take it all in the largest bills you have.”

Me: “So, hundreds, then?”

Customer: “Yeah, a few hundreds, and then some 500 and 1000 dollar bills as well.”

Me: “Oh, the largest denomination we have is hundreds…”

Customer: “You see, this is exactly the type of thing that makes me not want to bank with you guys!”

1 Thumbs