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Continental Confusion

, , , | Right | February 25, 2009

Customer: “Why are these shoes made in Chile?”

Me: “Well, I would assume that Chile is where the factory is located.”

Customer: “But WHY? Where is Chile anyways?”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure why, but Chile is located in South America.”

Customer: “South America? Like down by Alabama?”

Me: *facepalm*


This story is part of our 3rd Terrible At Geography roundup!

Read the next Terrible At Geography roundup story!

Read the 3rd Terrible At Geography roundup!

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God Ma’amit

, , , | Right | February 25, 2009

Me: “Good afternoon, ma’am; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Don’t call me ma’am; that’s rude! That’s like me calling you stupid!”

Me: “I apologize… I was just trying to be courteous.”

Customer: “I want to speak to the manager.”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Customer: “You’re stupid, and he’s stupid, and everybody that works here is stupid! I’m leaving!”

Me: “Have a great day, ma’am!”

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Gift Cards From Beyond The Grave

, , , , | Right | February 24, 2009

(A dad and two little kids — one boy and one girl — are buying books. Both of the kids are paying with gift cards.)

Customer: “…and you have your late great-grandma Miriam to thank for all these books!”

Customer’s Little Boy: *happily, to coworker* “She’s DEAD!”

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Thou Shalt Grant Me A Floor Model

, , , , | Right | February 24, 2009

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to buy this TV, but I want a discount.”

Me: “Sir, I’m not authorized to give discounts. ”

Customer: “Ever?”

Me: “Only on floor models.”

Customer: “Then I want the floor model!”

Me: “We’re only authorized to sell the floor model when we’re out of boxed product. Since the TV you want is right there on the shelf brand-new, I don’t have any reason to sell you the floor model. If I did that I’d just have to open another one.”

Customer: “But I want a discount! I’m a missionary!”

Me: “…what?”

Customer: “I’m a missionary! I need this TV for my RV so I want a discount.”

Me: “Let me get a manager for you…”

(Yes, the manager sold him the floor model for 10% off.)

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Will Stop Playing For Food

, , , , | Right | February 24, 2009

(It’s the end of the day on my mother’s hot dog cart, when I was about 17. We stop cooking and decide to hang up a sign selling the remaining cooked food 2-for-1. There’s an annoying guy that’s been badly playing the accordion next to our cart all day.)

Accordion Guy: “Closing, eh? I’d like four Italian sausage, two cheeseburgers, and two hot dogs!”

(My mom happily packs up the order into a box as I ring up the total.)

Me: “That’ll be $10.50.”

Accordion Guy: “What? No! It’s $4!”

Me: “Cheeseburgers are $3.50, sausage is $3, and hot dogs are $2. We’re having a special right now, but there’s still no way it adds up to only $4.”

Accordion Guy: “No! Your sign says two-for-one! Two things for one dollar! I got eight things, so it’s $4!”

Me: “That’s not at all what that sign means. It means you get two things for the price of one.”

Accordion Guy: “Yes it does! That’s exactly what it means!”

Me: “Sir, I wrote the sign myself. Several customers have come up to the cart in the last few minutes, and haven’t had any trouble with this concept.”

Accordion Guy: “It’s $4!”

Me: “You saying that doesn’t make it true.”

My Mom: *quietly, to me* “Whatever. If he’s eating, he can’t play the accordion!”

Me: “Sir, that will be $4, please!”


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