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Step 1: Insert Foot Into Mouth

, , , | Right | July 22, 2009

(I am one of the few women working at my computer store. One day a male customer speaks up near me.)

Customer: “Wow, that’s a pretty big rack you’ve got there!”

Me: *looking up from monitor screen* “…excuse me?”

(I then follow his gaze to see him looking at a giant walk-in rack mount we have for sale.)

Customer: “Oh, wow. I gotta watch how I phrase things.”

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The Karma Of Capitalism

, , , , | Right | July 22, 2009

Me: “Can I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Can you… do… this coupon?” *holds out coupon*

Me: “Yes, our two-for-one special. What flavors would you like?”

(The customer then dictates two particularly long and complicated orders.)

Customer: “I don’t like the energy you gave off while making those ice creams. Make them again.”

Me: “Okay… I’ll try to change my energy, sir.”

(Later, after I re-did the order.)

Me: “That would be $3.66, please.”

Customer: “But I have a coupon.”

Me: “A two-for-one means you have to pay for one of the two ice creams.”

Customer: “Pay…? But… free?”

Me: “You have to pay, yes.”

Customer: “But I just wanted free ice-cream…”

Me: “Do you even have any money?”

Customer: “What the h*** do I need money for? I have a coupon!”


This story is part of our Ice Cream roundup!

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Medical Wonders Of The After-Hours

, , , | Right | July 22, 2009

(I work at a drugstore where the pharmacy closes a few hours sooner than the rest of the store. A customer bursts in holding a script from a doctor’s office, and yells at me from across the store.)

Customer: “OH, NO! WHEN DOES THE PHARMACY CLOSE?!”

Me: *glances at the clock which reads 8:30 pm* “Six. Sorry.”

Customer: “Oh no. Oh, God! What do I do?!”

Me: “The pharmacy opens at nine in the morning, and closes at six, again. You can come back then and–”

Customer: “Is there a number I can call?! There has to be, for this sort of thing?”

Me: “No. I’m sorry. If you just–”

Customer: “But what does this town do in case of an emergency?!”

Me: “…we go to the hospital, ma’am.”

Customer: “The hospital? Thank you!” *leaves still clutching script tightly*

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The Great Melting Plot

, , | Right | July 22, 2009

Customer: “Miss! Miss! You need to see this!”

Me: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

(The customer takes a coffee creamer, opens it, and pours it onto a plate.)

Customer: “It’s melted! It’s all like this!” *points to pile of empty creamers*

Me: “Ma’am, those are creamers. The butter is in the other dish.”

Customer: “Well, those ones had better not be melted, too!”

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Cute Question, Catastrophic Consequences

, , | Right | July 22, 2009

(I am of Eastern European descent and many languages from that area have similarities. Two women come to my counter speaking a language I can somewhat understand.)

Me: “Good day! Can I ask where you’re from? I can understand a few of the words you were saying.”

Customer: “Where are you from?”

Me: “I’m from [place], part of former Yugoslavia.”

Customer: “Guess where I’m from!”

Me: “Oh no, I can’t. I’m pretty bad at guessing that sort of thing.”

Customer: “Guess!”

Me: “No, no. I’ll get it wrong. Never mind.”

Customer: “Just guess! Who cares if you get it wrong?”

Me: “I don’t want to insult you if I’m really off in guessing.”

Customer: “Just try! I’m not going to get mad!”

Me: “Okay, are you from Serbia?”

Customer: *angrily* “Serbia?! I should beat you for such an insult!”

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