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That’s MY Spider Man

| Romantic | April 18, 2014

(During the recent ‘Snowpocalypse,’ while I caught a bus home my partner stayed awake to keep in touch, making sure I got there safely in the icy conditions. The next day, I read on Facebook that he’d been woken by a spider falling onto his face shortly after I got home and signed off for the night! Therefore, the following IM conversation…)

Me: “Hey there, gorgeous. I hope you made it work safely and all. So very sorry to read about the spider. That would’ve been awful!”

Me: “And it was only half an hour or less after you got back to sleep, too… So much sympathy!”

Partner: “Yeah. I’m just glad it didn’t fall on your face.”

Me: “Are you saying you’d take a spider to the face for my sake? That’s really sweet, in a somewhat bewildering way…”

Partner: “More or less. It was the first thing I thought of once the terror faded. That if you’d been there, it would have landed on your face and I was glad you’d left so you could be spared that…”

Me: “That… is horrifyingly sweet and lovely of you. You poor thing; I adore you.”

(He didn’t even kill it, or throw it out into the snow, just shuffled it out of the way where it wouldn’t bother him and went back to sleep. Such a sweet guy: loved by me, and friend to spiders!)

Got Your Hair In His Cross-Hairs

| Romantic | April 18, 2014

(I have long hair, while my boyfriend is completely bald because he has a large scar on his head where hair can’t grow. One night I am combing my hair before bed.)

Boyfriend: “Hey, how long have you been growing out your hair?”

Me: “Uh…11 years? Since I was 14, yeah.”

(He falls silent and watches me brush my hair for a few moments.)

Boyfriend: “Can I have it?”

All You Need Is Love, Not

, , , , , | Romantic | April 18, 2014

(My boyfriend and I are lying in bed with a Beatles album on in the background.)

Boyfriend: “Hmm, these Beatles lyrics… They go a bit overboard on the love stuff sometimes.”

Me: *laughing* “Or maybe they genuinely just are that romantic?!”

Boyfriend: “Nah. I mean, ‘I ain’t got nothing but love, babe, eight days a week’?! Sorry. I love you, but I’ve got other s***, too…”


This story is part of our Beatles roundup!

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No Skin Off His Nose To Have No Nose On His Face

| Romantic | April 18, 2014

(My boyfriend manages valet at a local hospital. They have to stand outside the building waiting for the customers to come up. This winter has been the coldest we’ve seen in a while and this particular week we were expecting days with wind chills at 35 below zero.)

Me: “Make sure you bundle up tomorrow. Wind chill at 35 below zero.”

Boyfriend: “I know. It’s going to suck. I hope not many people will show up.”

Me: “I hope so, too. I don’t want you to get frostbite.”

Boyfriend: “Me, too. I like all my fingers and toes.”

Me: “And your nose.”

Boyfriend: “I think I can live without my nose. Then it won’t be in the way when I kiss you.”

Let’s Hope They Drive Safe

, , , , | Related | April 18, 2014

(My parents both love camping, so they decide to buy themselves a nice RV to retire in. Sometimes, they spend nights in the RV for seemingly no reason. The morning after one such night, my grandmother calls.)

Me: “Hello?”

Grandmother: “Hi, [My Name]. Is your mother there?”

Me: “She and Dad spent the night in the RV. They haven’t come in yet.”

Grandmother: “Well, it’s cheaper than a motel!”


This story is part of our S’Mores Day roundup!

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