(My religious studies professor looks like James Earl Jones, wears sunglasses to every class, never changes expression and is extremely strict.)

Professor: “[Student], why would a sick man hide out in the tombs?”

Student: “Um, because he was isolated due to the health care standards in Leviticus?”

Professor: “Maybe… or maybe he was gravely ill.”

(Beat, then half the class starts giggling. The professor never once changed expression.)

(I am in a C programming course so the classroom is also a computer lab. I finish my assignment early and am bored. I reach over to the woman sitting next to me and pluck the ESC key off of her keyboard.)

Me *evil voice* “There is no escape…”

Woman: *rolls eyes*

(My boyfriend and I are lying in his single bed one morning.)

Boyfriend: “I had a nightmare last night. I don’t know what it was about exactly, but I was running from something.”

Me: “From me?”

Boyfriend: “No, of course not. Why would I run from you? That would be like running from a delicious apple pie!”

(My boyfriend is really bad at words, specifically with what to say to emotional girlfriends. After having an awful day I decide to be a little more blunt than usual.)

Me: “Had a bad day… Tell me something that might make me go ‘aww’.”

Boyfriend: “Say ‘aww’.”

Me: “…”

(My husband and I are sitting at home and watching old episodes of the TV show ‘Veronica Mars.’ My husband has a huge crush on Kristen Bell, who plays Veronica Mars, and I have a crush on the character Logan. A scene comes on where these two characters are making out.)

Me: “SHHH! I’m imagining myself as Veronica, making out with Logan!”

Husband: “Haha! Well, I’m actually imagining myself making out with Kristen Bell.”