(I work in an appliance parts store. In order to complete a transaction, we must fill out the name and phone number fields on the invoice. There is no way to continue if they are left blank. A man comes in and places a small pack of batteries on the counter.)

Me: “Is that all you need, sir?”

Customer: “Yep.”

Me: *starts typing* “Okay, the price is [price] plus tax. Can I get your name?”

Customer: “You don’t need that! I’m just getting batteries!”

Me: “Actually, sir, I have to—”

Customer: *THROWS the pack of batteries at me* “Keep your d*** part! You don’t need to know my name!”

Me: *catches the pack* “Sir, you don’t have to give me YOUR name. I just have to fill in a name or I can’t complete the transaction.”

Customer: “Okay, okay, fine…” *obviously making something up* “Sam Jones! This is ridiculous. Why do you people always want all kinds of information?”

Me: “I suppose it would be pointless for me to ask you for a phone number, right?”

Customer: *SIGH*

Me: “It’s fine, I’ll use our store number.”

Customer: “What do you people need all that for?! Its bull—”

Me: “The number is so that we can look up your invoice if there is a problem with your purchase.”

Customer: “I don’t need that! It’s just batteries!” *continues to grumble as I finish the transaction*

Me: “Okay, your total with tax is [total].”

Customer: *calmed down some* “Okay. Listen, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to get all ugly. It’s just I don’t like giving out all sorts of private information. I apologize.”

Me: “Thank you. I didn’t think you really needed to throw the batteries at me.”

Customer: “Oh, of course not. I’m so sorry.”

(He pays me and I give him his receipt.)

Customer: “You have a nice day now. And you know, that information stuff should really be optional. Most people aren’t ever gonna need you to pull up their invoice.”

Me: “Honestly, sir, most people really don’t have a problem with telling me their name.”

(He sputtered a bit, turned and left in a huff. I would have hated to have seen his reaction if he had paid with a credit card and I asked for his ID!)

(I work in a call center for a large insurance company. My desk partner has just gotten a call from an extremely irate man. He is trying to find anything he can use to insult her. She is Filipino, but she was born in the US. She has no accent to speak of and a very American name.)

Customer: “Are you even in America? Where are you located?”

Coworker: “I’m in our Florida office, sir.”

Customer: “Well at least you’re not some dot-head.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Yeah, well, even if you ain’t foreign, you’re obviously an idiot working in a call center. I don’t have time to talk to some uneducated girl.”

Coworker: “Actually, sir, in addition to having a license to process insurance policies, I have a Master’s degree. So unless you have a Doctorate, I’m certain I’ve had more education than you, and I’m more than qualified to help you.”

Customer: “Oh… uh…”

(He didn’t have much to say after that, and I just sat there cackling.)

(This store is actually the second store of this chain I have worked at; the first closed down, and this was the very last day for this store, too. The assistant manager has been positioned outside the doors for the last 10 minutes to shoo very last minute customers, since we’re closing the doors about four hours early to begin cataloguing the entire store to get it all packed up. A family of four walks up, and starts to argue with him about wanting to come in to look.)

Assistant Manager: “I’m sorry, but we’re closing in 10 minutes, for good, and we can’t be open any later.”

Father: “But we drove three hours across state lines to visit THIS exact store.”

Assistant Manager: “Then, really, you should have been here earlier today, or earlier in the week, because we’ve been making everyone aware that this store was closing permanently today, at this hour, for months now.”

(I work in a kiosk candy shop located in a popular shopping mall. Because of the location in the middle of the floor, some people don’t realise that we’re closed. I am cashing up after a long day. The gates that close off the kiosk have been closed and padlocked. The entire shopping centre has been closed for a good 15 minutes.)

Customer: “Are you still open? I know exactly what I want so I’ll be quick.”

Me: *thinking this guy is messing with me, I play along* “Yeah, sure, but only if you can manage to get over the gate.”

Customer: *to his friend* “Yo, they’re still open! Give me a hand getting over this gate!”

Me: “Ah, sorry, I was just kidding around with you. We actually closed over 20 minutes ago. I’m just running late.”

Customer: “But… I can still get lollies, right?”

(Whenever we have customers that don’t see past their own nose, I always have a bit of a joke with them and they laugh along. This was the first customer that actually thought I was serious.)

(I work in a bar at my local golf club. We have closed at 7:00 pm for years now. I’ve just collected the last glasses and pulled the shutters down over the bar apart from the one which allows me to get in and out. I’m in the middle of cashing down the day’s takings.)

Customer: *at 7:30* “Are you open?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “No, sir. We closed about half an hour ago and I’m just finishing the last of my tasks behind the bar.”

Customer: “Well, you should be open for people like me who like to be the last to tee off on the course in the day!” *walks off in a huff*

This story is part of our Golf roundup!

Read the next Golf roundup story!

Read the Golf roundup!